After school and weekend activities

I went to quite a lot. I did enjoy some. But I really dreaded others. I don't think they particularly helped me in any way. I certainly didn't get better at being in groups of people or socialising. If anything it just taught me that I didn't fit in no matter where I went.

It could well be a class thing and an age thing too, my parents always said they couldn't afford it, but that always felt like an excuse, as most of the other children at school did afterschool stuff, at least brownies and guides.

I think I would have felt the same thing about not fitting in anywhere, but I wasn't given the opportunity to find out, it did make me stick out at school when other's were talking about things that I couldn't share or even have any knowlege of.

I think with my parents, it was more my Dad having a massive fear of any outside influence, he didn't really like me going to school, or bringing friends home, most of my friends were disaproved of and criticised and used as lessons in how not to behave. When I was avbout 12, I was diagnosed with depression, the doctor said it was because I had no friends or social life outside of going to school. I was allowed out after that, but not often and it was something that would be banned for any minor infraction of any rules, until the depression returned and the doctor told him to let me out again.

I've always wondered what life would have been like if I'd have been better socialised as a child and allowed to do things that others did. Would I have hated stuff? Possibly, Would I have better social skills? I don't know. Would I have been encouraged more and had any talents spotted, almost certainly.

It is rather sad to have been actively denied experiences. It's one thing to find it difficult or not want them, but to not be allowed is something else entirely, especially if you had no siblings. 

I can imagine that having a huge effect on a child, whether NT or ND.

Before I found out about autism, I wondered if being a lonely only was at the root of many of my problems fitting in with others and what I called my social dyslexia. Like most children I just wanted to fit in with those around me, so going to brownies/guides etc would have allowed me to try and fit in. My parents didn't have a car either and we didn't live on an estate unlike most of my friends, which made me stick out, but then there were so many things that made me stick out. It can be quite hard to get any help or understanding about being an only child, people can be quite hostile imagining that you must have loads fo presents every xmas and birthday, envious of you having all your parents attention, which is a double edged sword. Or they're totally dismissive and say that you're the same psychologically as an eldest child, I've yet to meet an only child who agrees with this.

My brain fascinates me, so you're not alone thier EP, I know I keep banging on about it but Gina Rippons, The Lost Girls of Autism, goes into the social skill side of things a lot and how our brains do respond diferently to NT's and some ND's. It's an emerging area of research so its not well understood yet.

I often feel that I grew up in a sort of cultural vacumn, my parents never drew with me, I was always bought colouring books, no one ever sang or danced or did crafts, I was left feeling that all these things that people on the telly did and wern't really for normal people. I was naturally shy, but then I didn't know what to do when others spoke to me or really how to play with others, so thats no surprise. Everything that ever interested me my parents said was only because someone else did it or I'd seen it on telly and I didn't really want to do it, so I was never encouraged to do anything.

Before I found out about autism, I wondered if being a lonely only was at the root of many of my problems fitting in with others and what I called my social dyslexia. Like most children I just wanted to fit in with those around me, so going to brownies/guides etc would have allowed me to try and fit in. My parents didn't have a car either and we didn't live on an estate unlike most of my friends, which made me stick out, but then there were so many things that made me stick out. It can be quite hard to get any help or understanding about being an only child, people can be quite hostile imagining that you must have loads fo presents every xmas and birthday, envious of you having all your parents attention, which is a double edged sword. Or they're totally dismissive and say that you're the same psychologically as an eldest child, I've yet to meet an only child who agrees with this.

My brain fascinates me, so you're not alone thier EP, I know I keep banging on about it but Gina Rippons, The Lost Girls of Autism, goes into the social skill side of things a lot and how our brains do respond diferently to NT's and some ND's. It's an emerging area of research so its not well understood yet.

I often feel that I grew up in a sort of cultural vacumn, my parents never drew with me, I was always bought colouring books, no one ever sang or danced or did crafts, I was left feeling that all these things that people on the telly did and wern't really for normal people. I was naturally shy, but then I didn't know what to do when others spoke to me or really how to play with others, so thats no surprise. Everything that ever interested me my parents said was only because someone else did it or I'd seen it on telly and I didn't really want to do it, so I was never encouraged to do anything.