My 47Y/O Female wife

You don't need an educational course in ASD, because you have life experience and were able to see the traits and behaviour exhibited by your wife. Doing a course  will not help you understand the predicaments that are before you, unless you can find a course in your area that you will learn specifically about your situation . It will only confuse you more if the behaviour she exhibits cannot be addressed through learnng. You do not seem to be asking about learning about ASD/ADHD, but  how the meltdowns and effect of COVID have impacted on her. 

Firstly, it depends on where you live,and which county you live in,as to how help can be given. For example,my son lives in an area where AUTISM and ADHD is diagnosed and supported by psychiatry. I live in a county with adult autism centres where the support for autism and co-morbid difficulties is provided through psychotherapy, not psychiatry. 

Secondly, you mention COVID. Our autistic profile identifies the difficulties caused by social interaction,and lockdown played to that profile. Coming out of COVUD was one of the scariest things I have experienced as an autistic female. It made it harder to be with people,and the only way I managed it was to take it step by step and get supporting  counselling and psychotherapy. Additionally,as a woman, perimenopause and indeed menopause are horrendous to navigate. As we do not know why we feel the way we do our only insight is to research this. Unfortunately unless you understand the impact of aging and perimenopause on our autism,it is impossible to know anything other than the suggestion that our illness is far worse than what those who are perimenopausal tell us. This can lead to us thinking that we are ill. I am the opposite to your wife because I have worked with research in a university about how aging impacts on autism. If I had not done this,and worked with researchers and doctors to discuss an issue that has not yet been dealt with by the medical profession, I would be like your wife. It is really hard understanding what perimenopause is doing to us,because we look in the mirror and many of us do not see our age therefore do not respond like neurotypicals. 

If I was in the situation that you are I would question what support is available to you. If you can get your doctor to refer your wife to a neuropsychology team they can help her understand her autistic/ASD profile,and work with her to create strategies that she can use to deal with her situation.

Finally if your area does not work with neuropsychology or adult autism teams please look at any physical support groups that you can go to for yourself,or any neuro/autism pathways that your National Health providers provide.

As I do not know you or your wife I am sorry that I cannot offer advice pertaining to your exact situation. I know from questioning my medication that the tablets I had been given fuelled my foggy brain and made me despair at always feeling ill. Fortunately I have regular reviews of my medication,so given that your wife has been on antidepressants for twnty years I hope that this is regularly monitored to. Sometimes what you see is not ADHD or Autism,but the impact of how we age,particularly for the female body, and sometimes other things are going on too. I hope that you are able to request a review of medication,and ask about what pathway she can be placed on to help her understand both her diagnoses and her perimenopausal difficulties. I would request follow up care because she was only diagnosed six months ago. Please be aware of the legal Right to Choose in the NHS,as this means you can talk with your doctor,or do your own research about autistic pathways for support in any area of England that you are able to travel to. The GP must agree that your choice is clinically appropriate for your wife. If your wife is cognatively high functioning she should be able to go to the doctors herself with your support if medical appointments are hard for her. If you want to do this please check your NHS site for - right to choose - Autism.

I am not a doctor so anything I have written comes from my personal experience. If your wife is cognatively able,but not prepared to seek continuing support please remember that your health is important to, and you may wish to investigate help on the NHS for those whose relationships are impacted by autism. Sometimes being cognatively able and autistic is a curse because trying to understand why all these things are happening to our body in perimenopause,when we haven't even worked out how Autism and ADHD are affecting our body,is a nightmare of trying to hang on to what we can control.

Sorry for the essay - one of my autistic weaknesses to have to say as much as I can, just in case one thing resonates with you. I know it is very hard, because I live with a neurotypical husband who cannot possibly understand my autism,but tries so hard to get right what is impossible to get right. Whatever you do, I wish you and your wife a positive future.

You don't need an educational course in ASD, because you have life experience and were able to see the traits and behaviour exhibited by your wife. Doing a course  will not help you understand the predicaments that are before you, unless you can find a course in your area that you will learn specifically about your situation . It will only confuse you more if the behaviour she exhibits cannot be addressed through learnng. You do not seem to be asking about learning about ASD/ADHD, but  how the meltdowns and effect of COVID have impacted on her. 

Firstly, it depends on where you live,and which county you live in,as to how help can be given. For example,my son lives in an area where AUTISM and ADHD is diagnosed and supported by psychiatry. I live in a county with adult autism centres where the support for autism and co-morbid difficulties is provided through psychotherapy, not psychiatry. 

Secondly, you mention COVID. Our autistic profile identifies the difficulties caused by social interaction,and lockdown played to that profile. Coming out of COVUD was one of the scariest things I have experienced as an autistic female. It made it harder to be with people,and the only way I managed it was to take it step by step and get supporting  counselling and psychotherapy. Additionally,as a woman, perimenopause and indeed menopause are horrendous to navigate. As we do not know why we feel the way we do our only insight is to research this. Unfortunately unless you understand the impact of aging and perimenopause on our autism,it is impossible to know anything other than the suggestion that our illness is far worse than what those who are perimenopausal tell us. This can lead to us thinking that we are ill. I am the opposite to your wife because I have worked with research in a university about how aging impacts on autism. If I had not done this,and worked with researchers and doctors to discuss an issue that has not yet been dealt with by the medical profession, I would be like your wife. It is really hard understanding what perimenopause is doing to us,because we look in the mirror and many of us do not see our age therefore do not respond like neurotypicals. 

If I was in the situation that you are I would question what support is available to you. If you can get your doctor to refer your wife to a neuropsychology team they can help her understand her autistic/ASD profile,and work with her to create strategies that she can use to deal with her situation.

Finally if your area does not work with neuropsychology or adult autism teams please look at any physical support groups that you can go to for yourself,or any neuro/autism pathways that your National Health providers provide.

As I do not know you or your wife I am sorry that I cannot offer advice pertaining to your exact situation. I know from questioning my medication that the tablets I had been given fuelled my foggy brain and made me despair at always feeling ill. Fortunately I have regular reviews of my medication,so given that your wife has been on antidepressants for twnty years I hope that this is regularly monitored to. Sometimes what you see is not ADHD or Autism,but the impact of how we age,particularly for the female body, and sometimes other things are going on too. I hope that you are able to request a review of medication,and ask about what pathway she can be placed on to help her understand both her diagnoses and her perimenopausal difficulties. I would request follow up care because she was only diagnosed six months ago. Please be aware of the legal Right to Choose in the NHS,as this means you can talk with your doctor,or do your own research about autistic pathways for support in any area of England that you are able to travel to. The GP must agree that your choice is clinically appropriate for your wife. If your wife is cognatively high functioning she should be able to go to the doctors herself with your support if medical appointments are hard for her. If you want to do this please check your NHS site for - right to choose - Autism.

I am not a doctor so anything I have written comes from my personal experience. If your wife is cognatively able,but not prepared to seek continuing support please remember that your health is important to, and you may wish to investigate help on the NHS for those whose relationships are impacted by autism. Sometimes being cognatively able and autistic is a curse because trying to understand why all these things are happening to our body in perimenopause,when we haven't even worked out how Autism and ADHD are affecting our body,is a nightmare of trying to hang on to what we can control.

Sorry for the essay - one of my autistic weaknesses to have to say as much as I can, just in case one thing resonates with you. I know it is very hard, because I live with a neurotypical husband who cannot possibly understand my autism,but tries so hard to get right what is impossible to get right. Whatever you do, I wish you and your wife a positive future.