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My 47Y/O Female wife

NAS73364

Just wondered as I feel so lost currently, in my home I have 3 sons 20/19/14 all are Autistic/ADHD but 20YO not had formal diagnosis. Around 11 years ago when my 19 YO was diagnosed I started to see similarities in my wife’s behaviour, I brought this up with GP as she was always a bit insecure and nervous and struggled a little with illness, when Covid hit and she started Perimenopause she became fixated on illness, she’d been put on antidepressants 20 years ago but suddenly she was blaming everything on side effects of different tablets and withdrawals.

What is especially difficult as she was diagnosed ASD/ADHD 6 months ago and for 5 years it’s been spells shutdown in bed, she has got to be in control so chooses her own medication, orders antibiotics because she believes she is ill, stockpiling them next to her bed. She threatens to end herself if I don’t listen, Police got called by our kids scared of her meltdown and they said it was coercive control but I didn’t press charges as she’s not doing it on purpose. Sorry if this is too long but GP’s and Psychiatrist will only listen to her and I’m exhausted.

Parents

  • it's not too long 

    The suicidal threats do sound like coercive control and whether she's doing it on purpose or not is irrelavant. In my experience all perpetrators of domestic abuse believe they are not responsible. Are GP and psychiatrist fully aware of situation? I'd maybe reach out to local domestic abuse charities and see what they have to say about it too. 

    It sounds like you need a break from the situation. living under that kind of stress will make you ill and then there will be nobody to look after the kids. Can you and kids get away for the weekend?

  • in reply to Monkeyclogs

    Yeah or she’s actually suicidal and isn’t being listened to?! This is the thing that is extremely wrong in this society… people who are suicidal get treated like this when they reach out for help in whatever way they try but people who commit suicide and never asked for help all of a sudden everybody wishes they had asked for help and the majority of people DONT ask for help 

  • in reply to InterTrails

    She may very well be suicidal, I wasn't denying that. If she is then she should take the help that is being offered. the OP has said that she is not taking the antidepressants prescribed. If she is suicidal she needs to go to a hospital and accept help not just make threats to family and blame them.

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  • in reply to InterTrails

    She may very well be suicidal, I wasn't denying that. If she is then she should take the help that is being offered. the OP has said that she is not taking the antidepressants prescribed. If she is suicidal she needs to go to a hospital and accept help not just make threats to family and blame them.

Children