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My 47Y/O Female wife

NAS73364

Just wondered as I feel so lost currently, in my home I have 3 sons 20/19/14 all are Autistic/ADHD but 20YO not had formal diagnosis. Around 11 years ago when my 19 YO was diagnosed I started to see similarities in my wife’s behaviour, I brought this up with GP as she was always a bit insecure and nervous and struggled a little with illness, when Covid hit and she started Perimenopause she became fixated on illness, she’d been put on antidepressants 20 years ago but suddenly she was blaming everything on side effects of different tablets and withdrawals.

What is especially difficult as she was diagnosed ASD/ADHD 6 months ago and for 5 years it’s been spells shutdown in bed, she has got to be in control so chooses her own medication, orders antibiotics because she believes she is ill, stockpiling them next to her bed. She threatens to end herself if I don’t listen, Police got called by our kids scared of her meltdown and they said it was coercive control but I didn’t press charges as she’s not doing it on purpose. Sorry if this is too long but GP’s and Psychiatrist will only listen to her and I’m exhausted.

Parents

  • Hello NAS73364

    Thank you for sharing what you’re going through. It sounds very difficult and exhausting. You’re not alone and there are places you can get help.

    The National Autistic Society does not currently operate a crisis or emergency service. If you’re finding it hard to cope or have thoughts of harming yourself, please seek help. If you feel you or anyone else is at risk of immediate harm, dial 999 or contact one of the mental health crisis lines listed on our Urgent Help Page: https://www.autism.org.uk/contact-us/urgent-help

    If you’re concerned about the impact on your children, you can self-refer to your local children’s services. Alternatively, you might want to speak to a trusted professional such as school staff or your GP for guidance.

    Because you mentioned coercive control and threats, it may help to look at domestic abuse support services. The NHS provides information and helplines here:
    www.nhs.uk/.../

    You’re doing your best in a challenging situation. Please keep in touch with the community, we care and we can listen.

    Kind regards,

    Sharon Mod

Reply

  • Hello NAS73364

    Thank you for sharing what you’re going through. It sounds very difficult and exhausting. You’re not alone and there are places you can get help.

    The National Autistic Society does not currently operate a crisis or emergency service. If you’re finding it hard to cope or have thoughts of harming yourself, please seek help. If you feel you or anyone else is at risk of immediate harm, dial 999 or contact one of the mental health crisis lines listed on our Urgent Help Page: https://www.autism.org.uk/contact-us/urgent-help

    If you’re concerned about the impact on your children, you can self-refer to your local children’s services. Alternatively, you might want to speak to a trusted professional such as school staff or your GP for guidance.

    Because you mentioned coercive control and threats, it may help to look at domestic abuse support services. The NHS provides information and helplines here:
    www.nhs.uk/.../

    You’re doing your best in a challenging situation. Please keep in touch with the community, we care and we can listen.

    Kind regards,

    Sharon Mod

Children