Looking after yourself

My father said the same thing too.

In respect of looking after myself - the diagnosis process that I went thro' revealed some aspects of self care that I struggle with - why I am disabled by the condition...  A tough learn - areas of one's life that one considered to be delegated to a partner either by expediency or laziness identified as being outside of one's capacity to do without support.  Not a positive thing for one's ego!

But for luck, grace and others who cared for me could easily have ended up destitute.  

I have had issues in maintaining and seeking personal health care - not sure this was specifically autism related tho'

So is this autism related  ?    I am coming to think that difficulties in self care I experience are mostly related to the experience of being an undiagnosed autistic person in a neurotypical world that doesn't cater for autistic people very well.  (I admit that there is also part of me that says this is simply because I'm a lazy useless piece of work but maybe I'm being a bit harsh on myself there...)

The cause of difficulties in this area I personally now consider to be having lived in what might be termed "survival mode" for significant periods of my life and prolonged periods of burnout.  During which self care in terms of planning for the future appears to have been neglected by me.  I kidded myself this was what living in the moment might be like however I now appreciate that one can live in the moment and plan for the future too... better late than never maybe....

I am sometimes very selfish in a way that is good for my own self care.however there is a part of me that has been somewhat stuck in needing to care for other people before myself it seems too - I have recently come across a model of why one does this being because one is  "fawning"  - wherein one's brain seeks to placate threat and aims to avoid conflict through extreme people pleasing behaviour..  

This is tricky as caring for other people is something that gets great social kudos and makes one feel better about oneself - unfortunately tho' doing so at the expense of oneself can be highly damaging to an autistic person and can leave one open to abuse (putting one deeper into "survival mode").  

My father said the same thing too.

In respect of looking after myself - the diagnosis process that I went thro' revealed some aspects of self care that I struggle with - why I am disabled by the condition...  A tough learn - areas of one's life that one considered to be delegated to a partner either by expediency or laziness identified as being outside of one's capacity to do without support.  Not a positive thing for one's ego!

But for luck, grace and others who cared for me could easily have ended up destitute.  

I have had issues in maintaining and seeking personal health care - not sure this was specifically autism related tho'

So is this autism related  ?    I am coming to think that difficulties in self care I experience are mostly related to the experience of being an undiagnosed autistic person in a neurotypical world that doesn't cater for autistic people very well.  (I admit that there is also part of me that says this is simply because I'm a lazy useless piece of work but maybe I'm being a bit harsh on myself there...)

The cause of difficulties in this area I personally now consider to be having lived in what might be termed "survival mode" for significant periods of my life and prolonged periods of burnout.  During which self care in terms of planning for the future appears to have been neglected by me.  I kidded myself this was what living in the moment might be like however I now appreciate that one can live in the moment and plan for the future too... better late than never maybe....

I am sometimes very selfish in a way that is good for my own self care.however there is a part of me that has been somewhat stuck in needing to care for other people before myself it seems too - I have recently come across a model of why one does this being because one is  "fawning"  - wherein one's brain seeks to placate threat and aims to avoid conflict through extreme people pleasing behaviour..  

This is tricky as caring for other people is something that gets great social kudos and makes one feel better about oneself - unfortunately tho' doing so at the expense of oneself can be highly damaging to an autistic person and can leave one open to abuse (putting one deeper into "survival mode").