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My husband refuses to believe he has adhd/autism!!! Life is he'll sometimes

NAS82939

My husband refuses to believe he has adhd/autism or both and living with him is taking a toll on my mental health and i really need help in how to deal with an adult who is in denial and does not listen to my advice?

He doesn't talk to me if he doesn't get his way. He doesn't communicate with me about anything unless he wants to talk. Im loosing my patience with him and need to be shown how to deal with this behaviour. Some of his family members have it and have been diagnosed so they also help with how I should deal with his behaviour but is this my life now???? This is tiring and mentally hard to deal with.

I need help!!!

Parents

  • I'm not sure if this is going to be helpful or not, but he sounds very controlling and autism isn't an excuse, it maybe the reason he's the way  he is, but it dosen't make it right. I think there are some questions you need to ask yourself, like would you put up with this sort of behaviour from a neurotypical partner?

    I think you should start to think about life without him, his unwillingness to consider you and your needs and shutting you out isn't a relationship, it's abuse, a relationship is two people relating, abuse is one person dominating the other to the point where they become ill and are walking on egg shells all the time. Whether your partner is autistic or not does not give him the right to treat you like this.

    Another thing to consider is, if he did get a diagnosis then what? There's no treatment for autism and a diagnosis may give him an excuse to behave even worse towards you and his diagnosis could become a flag to bully you with. It's not a nice thing to think about, but autistic people can be bullying, nasty, manipulative and agressive, just like our neurotypical cousins.

    I really wish you well with whatever you decide to do and I know from experience what it's like to live with someone like this.

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  • I'm not sure if this is going to be helpful or not, but he sounds very controlling and autism isn't an excuse, it maybe the reason he's the way  he is, but it dosen't make it right. I think there are some questions you need to ask yourself, like would you put up with this sort of behaviour from a neurotypical partner?

    I think you should start to think about life without him, his unwillingness to consider you and your needs and shutting you out isn't a relationship, it's abuse, a relationship is two people relating, abuse is one person dominating the other to the point where they become ill and are walking on egg shells all the time. Whether your partner is autistic or not does not give him the right to treat you like this.

    Another thing to consider is, if he did get a diagnosis then what? There's no treatment for autism and a diagnosis may give him an excuse to behave even worse towards you and his diagnosis could become a flag to bully you with. It's not a nice thing to think about, but autistic people can be bullying, nasty, manipulative and agressive, just like our neurotypical cousins.

    I really wish you well with whatever you decide to do and I know from experience what it's like to live with someone like this.

Children