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Struggling at work

FireflyPrincess

Is anyone else having a really hard time at work? I've started a new job and I absolutely love most of the team and the actual job but I'm really struggling with some members of the team. 

I'm still new and learning and don't tend to respond well to harsh overly sarcastic feedback and jokes along the lines of 'have you finally done something right'. I do absolutely want to learn and want to be told how to improve but the tone certain team members use has really upset me on multiple occasions. 

Recently when discussing this with the person and a supportive team leader the person said something incredibly hurtful and told me that I need to toughen up because they are like that with everyone and can't be expected to change for me. 

I really hate the that's just what they are like thing. It doesn't mean it's okay. My (also autistic) best friend says it's bullying and I need to raise this to my manager (who is aware as they've been informed of this previously). I hate to think I'm causing problems for them and I just don't feel like it would go anywhere. The more supportive team members are already aware I am autistic and now this person is too but I really felt like I was forced to disclose this while not being entirely comfortable. It just feels like such a mess and I'm going to have this problem anywhere I go.

Parents

  • Try to keep things in perspective.

    You like most of the team. You like the job. You have support from most of the people. It takes time to learn any new job, and you are making progress. You have a team leader that is happy and supportive.

    One person has made sone comments. They are being defensive and saying it just how they are. They now know the situation.

    I would stick with it. All places have people you get on with and some you don't.

    It may be hard, but try to ignore what this one person has said and think of the good things from the others.

    Once you are settled in they may not be so bad. It is partly because you are stressed that it seems hard.

    Otherwise just try to be professional and minimise interactions. 

Reply

  • Try to keep things in perspective.

    You like most of the team. You like the job. You have support from most of the people. It takes time to learn any new job, and you are making progress. You have a team leader that is happy and supportive.

    One person has made sone comments. They are being defensive and saying it just how they are. They now know the situation.

    I would stick with it. All places have people you get on with and some you don't.

    It may be hard, but try to ignore what this one person has said and think of the good things from the others.

    Once you are settled in they may not be so bad. It is partly because you are stressed that it seems hard.

    Otherwise just try to be professional and minimise interactions. 

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