My son's behaviour

Hi, I know it's difficult but can you take a step or 2 back to analyse your son's behaviour + maybe think of a different way of approaching things with him?  You can't "make him listen".  It's possible that he "behaves" at school but then lets all his steam out when he gets home.  This is a common response from autistic children.  Over the years  I've found that my son really doesn't like being told what to do.  Sometimes it's the tone or loudness of voice, sometimes it was because he didn't agree + was really looking fwd to something else.  Therefore disappointment. The 2 biggest things I learnt + it takes time to learn these things, is that I definitely cdn't treat him the same as I wd a neuro-typical (not autistic) child.  It just doesn't work with autistic children.   He'll get a lot of being told what to do at school anyway so may need some of the pressure taken off at home.  Altho he will still v much value a routine he enjoys.  Is his school an autism-specific 1?  What I've found over the yrs that works for my son (an adult now) is slowing things down, never rushing anything, going at a slower pace, waiting longer for a response, helping if he doesn't know what to do or say by making a suggestion but not jumping in immediately.   Understanding his limitations but giving him choices when at all possible.  He greatly values his freedom to choose.  I know he's older than your son but there a little ways you can implement this if you think it's worth a go.  Keeping a calm exterior, even when not feeling calm, because having a strong reaction would undoubtedly make him even more distressed.  It's trying to avoid getting to the point where he throws his laptop and/or has a meltdown.  That's what I mean about taking a couple of steps back mentally + analysing what caused the situation.    About his specs.  I'm assuming there's nothing wrong with the lenses + that the frames aren't too tight/slack?   My son has regular eye tests but hasn't needed specs so far.  I'm not sure how well he'd be able to answer the optician's questions so cd poss end up with lenses that were not as gd as they cd be.  It is absolutely ridiculous that you can't get respite until he's 12.  That's budget cuts, they've looked at their provision, looked at demand, looked at the cost + come up with that figure.   Have you checked the nas home pg to see if there are any parents' groups or other organisations in your area so you cd make contact if you wanted?  I'd keep on at your council + councillors about respite care, regardless of what they say, but I do understand how worn out parents can feel with all the battling, stress etc that affects us.  A good deal of it unnecessary if services were better.  Also, if you haven't ask your council for a carer's assessment so they have a record of your needs which shd include respite.  

Hi, I know it's difficult but can you take a step or 2 back to analyse your son's behaviour + maybe think of a different way of approaching things with him?  You can't "make him listen".  It's possible that he "behaves" at school but then lets all his steam out when he gets home.  This is a common response from autistic children.  Over the years  I've found that my son really doesn't like being told what to do.  Sometimes it's the tone or loudness of voice, sometimes it was because he didn't agree + was really looking fwd to something else.  Therefore disappointment. The 2 biggest things I learnt + it takes time to learn these things, is that I definitely cdn't treat him the same as I wd a neuro-typical (not autistic) child.  It just doesn't work with autistic children.   He'll get a lot of being told what to do at school anyway so may need some of the pressure taken off at home.  Altho he will still v much value a routine he enjoys.  Is his school an autism-specific 1?  What I've found over the yrs that works for my son (an adult now) is slowing things down, never rushing anything, going at a slower pace, waiting longer for a response, helping if he doesn't know what to do or say by making a suggestion but not jumping in immediately.   Understanding his limitations but giving him choices when at all possible.  He greatly values his freedom to choose.  I know he's older than your son but there a little ways you can implement this if you think it's worth a go.  Keeping a calm exterior, even when not feeling calm, because having a strong reaction would undoubtedly make him even more distressed.  It's trying to avoid getting to the point where he throws his laptop and/or has a meltdown.  That's what I mean about taking a couple of steps back mentally + analysing what caused the situation.    About his specs.  I'm assuming there's nothing wrong with the lenses + that the frames aren't too tight/slack?   My son has regular eye tests but hasn't needed specs so far.  I'm not sure how well he'd be able to answer the optician's questions so cd poss end up with lenses that were not as gd as they cd be.  It is absolutely ridiculous that you can't get respite until he's 12.  That's budget cuts, they've looked at their provision, looked at demand, looked at the cost + come up with that figure.   Have you checked the nas home pg to see if there are any parents' groups or other organisations in your area so you cd make contact if you wanted?  I'd keep on at your council + councillors about respite care, regardless of what they say, but I do understand how worn out parents can feel with all the battling, stress etc that affects us.  A good deal of it unnecessary if services were better.  Also, if you haven't ask your council for a carer's assessment so they have a record of your needs which shd include respite.