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Holding Out for My Mr. Darcy

NeurodivergentMind

I stand by my hopes, but I always appreciate hearing other people’s thoughts.


Do you think I’m naïve to believe there’s a “Mr. Darcy” out there?


I love a rom-com, but I’m realistic, I’m simply looking for a man with depth, respect, emotional intelligence, a capacity for growth, and a genuine desire for real partnership.

  • in reply to Deleted user

    I appreciate the feedback.Slight smile
    When I mentioned Mr. Darcy, I was speaking in jest — more as a way to highlight the qualities I described, not to suggest I’m comparing a real person to a fictional character.
    I’m genuinely glad you were able to find your person. I have faith the same will happen for me.

  • I don’t think you’re naïve for wanting depth, respect, emotional intelligence, and real partnership. Those are reasonable hopes. I do think it helps to separate those values from the “Mr Darcy” or ultra wealthy, though — the qualities you’re looking for can exist without the fairytale framing If that’s what you meant by Mr Darcy (I haven’t heard of him before and had to research) so happy to be educated here :) 

    for me, I met my wife and we weren’t really that compatible at first, but as time went on, we learned to navigate and respect each other and appreciate what we offer. I guess what I’m saying is that you at meet someone who doesn’t initially strike you as the person you’re holding out for, but over time, you see qualities in them that you value and they become your Mr Darcy the more you learn and appreciate them. The disappointment I think would come from comparing a fictional character to a real person and being disappointed they aren’t that. 

  • its natural for autistic people, but how are you trying to find them the are a lot of people but not a lot of comparable people out there 

  • NeurodivergentMind said:
    I’m simply looking for a man with depth, respect, emotional intelligence, a capacity for growth, and a genuine desire for real partnership.

    I had to look up Emotional intelligence and the result I got from the Psychology Today website said:

    "Emotional intelligence is generally said to include a few skills: namely, emotional awareness, or the ability to identify and name one’s own emotions; the ability to harness those emotions and apply them to tasks like thinking and problem solving; and the ability to manage emotions, which includes both regulating one’s own emotions when necessary and helping others to do the same."

    I don't have emotional intelligence so I couldn't ask for that, and I believe most autistic people don't? 

    I personally value the positive traits usually seen in autistic people - honesty, loyalty, empathy, deep focus, creativity and a unique perspective.

  • in reply to Stuart333

    Hi, Slight smile

    Very kind words, I agree with you.


    I know I probably hinder myself by not socialising, but at the same time it’s not easy to socialise when you don’t already have friends. Definitely food for thought.

    I can’t really see myself going down the app route. Not to say it hasn’t worked for some people—I’m just not sure it would suit me.

    Here’s to 2026… just the one.

    It didn’t escape my notice that you said you used to have hope. What happened to it?

  • I'm sure there is.

    The issue is whether you can find him and then whether he's available when you do.

    The problem is just meeting people, it gets harder as you get older. Modern life has made it harder still.

    Basically the more you socialise the more chance there is. You need to be visible. Work, clubs (as in activities), social events, courses, just being out and about. But I don't think the odds are too high. Otherwise there are apps, but I can't face that, maybe you can, assuming all the people aren't just lying.

    I used to have hope luck would smile on me.

    But you only need one, not hundreds, so who knows Slight smile

    Maybe 2026 will bring what you what Santa forgot.