Disassociating & feeling numb

I feel numb, I feel nothing - Its Christmas Eve and for the first time ever I feel NOTHING but numbness - thanks to my therapist yesterday I now know that Ive been "disassociating" badly - and have been for 2 months now - a mixture of overwhelming stress and still grieving my Dog - I feel indifferent to everything - It keeps making me feel that nobody else is "real" - I keep going driving on my own and "zoning out"  Did I hit anybody? Did I go through red lights? - Ive been on "auto pilot" since before Halloween - My therapist told me that Ive actually "checked out" from reality through overwhelming stress & grief that my Autistic brain cant cope with. - in town yesterday nobody felt "real", I felt I was walking among thousands of "ghosts" - Therapist said disassociation either feels like your surroundings arent "real" or that other people arent "real" or a mixture of both. For 2 months now Ive felt like this - I need to get "back" somehow. :/

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  • I'm sleeping a lot,  but Im stuck in disassociation - My Autistic brain shut down on the evening of Wednesday, the 29th of October - and Its been emotional "death" ever since - I put my dog down in June, I was thinking about him on that Wednesday evening in October and  my brain instantly went "ping" and "disappeared" - I dont want to jinx it but I might be feeling "better" this evening.