Disassociating & feeling numb

I feel numb, I feel nothing - Its Christmas Eve and for the first time ever I feel NOTHING but numbness - thanks to my therapist yesterday I now know that Ive been "disassociating" badly - and have been for 2 months now - a mixture of overwhelming stress and still grieving my Dog - I feel indifferent to everything - It keeps making me feel that nobody else is "real" - I keep going driving on my own and "zoning out"  Did I hit anybody? Did I go through red lights? - Ive been on "auto pilot" since before Halloween - My therapist told me that Ive actually "checked out" from reality through overwhelming stress & grief that my Autistic brain cant cope with. - in town yesterday nobody felt "real", I felt I was walking among thousands of "ghosts" - Therapist said disassociation either feels like your surroundings arent "real" or that other people arent "real" or a mixture of both. For 2 months now Ive felt like this - I need to get "back" somehow. :/

Parents
  • Hello  

    I am sorry to hear that you have felt this way recently. It's good that you are already receiving support through therapy and have shared how you're feeling with the Community. I hope you coped well over the last few days over Christmas, but please do reach out if you need help and support.

    All the best,

    Chloe

  • Thanks Chloe - yeah Christmas Day & Boxing Day were the worst of my whole life - Ive never felt such disassociation & emotional "death" - Ive been disassociating badly now for 2 months,  its the longest Ive ever disassociated  - Ive tried everything to get out of it - 5-4-3-2-1, holding ice cubes, freezing cold showers - anything to come back into the "real" World,  nothing has worked yet sadly.  Im having therapy again in about 2 weeks and I have an appt with an autistic support worker in 3 weeks - I really hope I can get out of this sooner rather than later.  Bedt wishes

Reply
  • Thanks Chloe - yeah Christmas Day & Boxing Day were the worst of my whole life - Ive never felt such disassociation & emotional "death" - Ive been disassociating badly now for 2 months,  its the longest Ive ever disassociated  - Ive tried everything to get out of it - 5-4-3-2-1, holding ice cubes, freezing cold showers - anything to come back into the "real" World,  nothing has worked yet sadly.  Im having therapy again in about 2 weeks and I have an appt with an autistic support worker in 3 weeks - I really hope I can get out of this sooner rather than later.  Bedt wishes

Children
No Data