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Solipsistic anxiety *trigger warning*

Reddragon84

Hi guys,

Im 41, diagnosed as AuDHD at the age of 35 in 2019 after 35 years of feeling like different and not knowing why.

Its been a rough 3 months or so for me stress wise - but 2 months ago I suddenly got anxious that nobody "exists" other than me - I already knew about the mindf**k philosophical theory of Solipsism - but it hadnt bothered me - but suddenly after a period of stress, physical health issues and having to put my Border collie down - Ive had really crippling anxiety - worrying that nobody "exists" except me and Im all "alone" in my "own" Universe - Being Autistic I have "felt" like that from time to time but not to the extent it was giving me crazy levels of Anxiety.

Seen my GP, who referred me to the CMHT, who say they "cannot" help me as my anxiety has its "basis" in my Autism - they believe my anxiety is "Autistic looping & rumination"  - So Im now on a potential 6 months long waiting list for support from the local Autism support service.

Ive been told that Solipsistic fears is quite common in Autistic individuals - something I did not know.

I understand that a Solipsistic belief is selfish, self obsessed and self centered - but my neurodiverse mind is full of "What Ifs?"  What if Im the only consciousness?  What if my Mum, Dad, siblings, friends dont exist? What if nobody else exists? and it gives me panic attacks and anxiety - I want to let these sticky intrusive thoughts go, but its very difficult, especially at the moment.

Any advice from others (who Im pretty sure exist) of how to overcome this particular anxiety?  

Thanks

Parents

  • I figure that the issue you describe might relate to the historic definition of being autistic from the early 20th century - that of a social withdrawal from reality.  The idea being that autistic people engage in a personal fantasy of the world that differed from "normal" people.

    Today this view has shifted to autistic people having a different but no less valid version of reality to "normal" people.

    Your concern about whether other people exist is quite rational when one considers that what everyone believes to be "reality" is an internal model of what the f7ck is happening.  Ask 2 different people to describe what takes place in a situation and you can get really different perspectives.  What is the "evidence" depends on what they notice and how they interpret it... There are "blind spots" and biases in everyone's version of reality.

    There is an old story about someone waking from a dream that they were a butterfly and then getting confused whether they were human dreaming they were a butterfly or a butterfly dreaming they were human. That messes with anyone's head I guess?

    My experience of getting diagnosed later in life was that, maybe like you, it really messed with what I could believe to be "true".  All those years and then a completely different lens to see one's life thro'... It is f7cking hard to change what one believes...  even tho' you're clever enough to conceptualise stuff differently the deeper "understanding" takes a lot of shifting

    If you are a bit lost as to whether something is real or not maybe you might benefit from some "grounding" experiences...

    Hehe there is another old story about a monk who when asked for enlightenment by a student would hit them over the head with a stick...

    Later on they used more subtle techniques...

    I would suggest that you might try pausing for a little while when you are reflecting on others or are in social contact with them and letting observations and assimilation take place before letting the "autistic autopilot" take control of your normal reaction.  take a moment to observe the other person and think a little about their perspective and try to "create" a model of them in that moment.  The truth is the version of them you generate is only a facsimile - our brains can do no more than this - they are nonetheless "real" people.

     THIS LAST BIT IS A JOKE -  if this doesn't work then you could ask them to hit you on the head with a stick to test things out! 

    Best wishes

Reply

  • I figure that the issue you describe might relate to the historic definition of being autistic from the early 20th century - that of a social withdrawal from reality.  The idea being that autistic people engage in a personal fantasy of the world that differed from "normal" people.

    Today this view has shifted to autistic people having a different but no less valid version of reality to "normal" people.

    Your concern about whether other people exist is quite rational when one considers that what everyone believes to be "reality" is an internal model of what the f7ck is happening.  Ask 2 different people to describe what takes place in a situation and you can get really different perspectives.  What is the "evidence" depends on what they notice and how they interpret it... There are "blind spots" and biases in everyone's version of reality.

    There is an old story about someone waking from a dream that they were a butterfly and then getting confused whether they were human dreaming they were a butterfly or a butterfly dreaming they were human. That messes with anyone's head I guess?

    My experience of getting diagnosed later in life was that, maybe like you, it really messed with what I could believe to be "true".  All those years and then a completely different lens to see one's life thro'... It is f7cking hard to change what one believes...  even tho' you're clever enough to conceptualise stuff differently the deeper "understanding" takes a lot of shifting

    If you are a bit lost as to whether something is real or not maybe you might benefit from some "grounding" experiences...

    Hehe there is another old story about a monk who when asked for enlightenment by a student would hit them over the head with a stick...

    Later on they used more subtle techniques...

    I would suggest that you might try pausing for a little while when you are reflecting on others or are in social contact with them and letting observations and assimilation take place before letting the "autistic autopilot" take control of your normal reaction.  take a moment to observe the other person and think a little about their perspective and try to "create" a model of them in that moment.  The truth is the version of them you generate is only a facsimile - our brains can do no more than this - they are nonetheless "real" people.

     THIS LAST BIT IS A JOKE -  if this doesn't work then you could ask them to hit you on the head with a stick to test things out! 

    Best wishes

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