Hi everyone Christmas is coming very fast and I’ve just finished work for the Christmas break it was a lovely day got spoiled with homemade pastries and chocolate. Anyway enough about that who ready for Christmas? I’ve done my Christmas shopping wrapped all my presents and sent them off to different family members just need to get food sorted for Christmas Day now. I’ve also got to get treats for my beautiful dog as it’s her Christmas as well. So are any of you guys ready for the big day?
My 30th Christmas alone. Normally it is ok, I don't mind having a rest from work,. But last Christmas the current burnout started, and is now ending, which has lasted all year and led to my diagnosis.
Normally I cook a roast. Has been turkey, goose, pork, beef, at various times. But I don't think I can do it this year. I don't have any food at all at the moment, I need to go shopping next week.
I have a holly wreath on the door, lights in the window, a tree etc. like normal.
I just want it to be over, to be honest. I've never felt like this before. The diagnosis process opened too many memories I am struggling to bury again. Really it's the realisation things didn't need to be this way. Everything was arranged around coping, but I didn't know I was doing it. It felt strange but I didn't think about it.
I thought of going away but I thought it would make me feel worse, and cost a lot. These feelings come and go, they'll pass. Maybe I'll win the lottery. 
You just need something to look forward to. Next year things will be better.
