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Acceptance?

Anotherandy

Since I've finally managed to write a post here I may as well go all in and ask the question that's been the monkey on my back for a long time now; how did you move towards acceptance of your autism? 

Long story short is I know a fair bit about ASD, recognise many traits in myself, accept that I probably am autistic (have told family and friends I'm awaiting formal diagnosis) but honestly don't feel that I am until I get the official badge from said formal diagnosis. (I imagine this to be quite common among autistics - it's quite an autistic thought process in itself?)

So yeah, I'm awaiting a late diagnosis (late 40's) which in reality given it was picked up in relation to a mental health issue (that I now realise was probably a second major burnout episode) 15 or so years ago shouldn't have been quite so late...

I've always known I was different, always felt outside, spent years fearing I was various degrees of plain old crazy while just about managing a job, life, family etc. 

For those of you with similar tales how did you get that doubt out of your mind? Did it actually go with the diagnosis - did that make acceptance easier? And yeah, I guess what do I do towards accepting myself for what's pretty much odds on - that I am autistic. Perhaps posting here is the first (or another) step? Help?!

Parents

  • It was first suggested 9 months ago after visiting a psychologist to figure out what was wrong and scoring higher than I wanted on the tests (I did them all 3 times to make sure) and 6 months since I knew for sure. Without a formal (private) diagnosis I would not have believed it. I argued with the psychologist doing the formal assessment, they'd decided before the process even started they were just looking for enough evidence,  I tried to disprove everything. I didnt want to exaggerate or falsely claim anything. Other people struggle, I wasn't that bad, was I? 

    I am still not 100% sure even though there's ample evidence. I don't think this will go as I think I function too well. But burnout (reduced functioning and being fragile for 12 months every now and then), sleep issues, staying in to recover all the time, difficulty in starting and then difficulty stopping tasks, forgetting to drink, etc. say otherwise. I work ok, so I'm ok right? Everyone's wanted it to end since they were 12 and lives on their own and is anxious about anything new right? And I arranged everything to be low stress by accident, it wasn't my subconscious deciding was it? And nobody has friends anymore anyway, and is blunt and thinks differently, and stays in all the time, right?

    This is the point. You can be good at some things in some circumstances, mask automatically, fit in if you have to, but it has a cost. If you've done it a long time it may take someone else to point out some of your issues.

    What you are looking for is a lifestyle that allows you to achieve as much as possible sustainably. This varies by person and circumstance, which is why there is no single answer.

  • in reply to Stuart333

    That second paragraph - resonates massively! Thanks for sharing. The last bit is very true - I've come a long way with that, though supose I need to keep going in terms of the work side...

    I wonder if I'll ever be 100% in - I assumed I would be post official, but perhaps it's been so long up to that point...

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  • in reply to Stuart333

    That second paragraph - resonates massively! Thanks for sharing. The last bit is very true - I've come a long way with that, though supose I need to keep going in terms of the work side...

    I wonder if I'll ever be 100% in - I assumed I would be post official, but perhaps it's been so long up to that point...

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