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Family and Autism Diagnosis

Ems

Hi. As Christmas is coming round I’m sure a lot of us will be seeing family. However some of my family members don’t know that I’m autistic as I was only diagnosed a year ago, and prior to that I had been working. But since being diagnosed I’ve been deemed unfit for work for the near future. Everytime I see these certain family members they ask if I have a job and how’s it going etc (and more small talk nonsense), and obviously this year I don’t have a job and not sure how to tell them that it’s because of my autism. I’m not sure how well they’ll understand or even know about autism other than the stereotypes and I hate confrontation and having to explain things and talk about myself. But I don’t want to lie to them. It’s been making me really anxious thinking about what I’m going to say to them. Does anyone have any advice? Or should I just exaggerate the truth and say I’m looking for jobs still and avoid having to tell them?

Parents

  • Hi EMS, I really hear what you’re saying that pressure to explain things honestly without upsetting anyone is something I’ve felt too. It’s not easy, especially when family might not fully understand autism.  My family also has difficulities understanding autism when I talk to them about it but I frame it in this way as I'm yet to be fully diagnosed as yet and currently on a waiting list to be assessed I just simply tell them that I am Jayson and I am someone who has self recognised that I have symptons that are relatable to autism but to them I still the old jayson thay have always known, another thing that has helped is by embracing more of an open mindset instead of a fixed one where I would have fixed negative emotions and having that has given me more confidence to comunicate with my family more about myself and not feeling so afraid to express myself.  I will honest though i'm still learning as I go along.  I’ve also found that scripting a few responses in advance helps ease the anxiety. Just having a couple of phrases ready can make those conversations feel less overwhelming. And if you need to redirect the topic, that’s okay too your comfort matters.  You’re not alone in this, and I really admire your courage in wanting to stay truthful. That’s a strength in itself.

Reply

  • Hi EMS, I really hear what you’re saying that pressure to explain things honestly without upsetting anyone is something I’ve felt too. It’s not easy, especially when family might not fully understand autism.  My family also has difficulities understanding autism when I talk to them about it but I frame it in this way as I'm yet to be fully diagnosed as yet and currently on a waiting list to be assessed I just simply tell them that I am Jayson and I am someone who has self recognised that I have symptons that are relatable to autism but to them I still the old jayson thay have always known, another thing that has helped is by embracing more of an open mindset instead of a fixed one where I would have fixed negative emotions and having that has given me more confidence to comunicate with my family more about myself and not feeling so afraid to express myself.  I will honest though i'm still learning as I go along.  I’ve also found that scripting a few responses in advance helps ease the anxiety. Just having a couple of phrases ready can make those conversations feel less overwhelming. And if you need to redirect the topic, that’s okay too your comfort matters.  You’re not alone in this, and I really admire your courage in wanting to stay truthful. That’s a strength in itself.

Children
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