"You can't be autistic"

Sorry, if such topic was already discussed in the past in this forum.

I had a discussion recently with my mom and she is furious that my therapist suspects me autistic. She says that im nothing even close to autism. Here is why: 

- in fact I cried as a baby whenever taken in arms, but later on I used yo come to give a hug if someone told me so (it was stressful, but she doesn't know it, because I failed to express how much stressed I was)

- in fact I was always a weirdo and not playing with kids, my roleplay was very poor, but I was and still am very creative and exceptionally good at some fields (foreign languages,  arts, geometry)

- I'm in her words very special and different than others and I have my rich wonderful inner world (I shared with her how I perceive taste of words). So it's impossible that im autistic 

- I'm too attractive (I heard long years, that im ugly, but it seems to have changed within last 10 years and yes, now at age 37 I hear "beautiful young lady")

I feel like a freak, I was so many times abused, bullied, isolated, mistreated over the years, told that im unlikeable and it's my own fault, told that there us something wrong with me, forced on meds, misdiagnosed etc. And now when my therapist suggests a diagnosis that finally makes sense, my mom says its not and of course she wouldn't take part in the diagnosis process.  Like always preventing me from getting help, gaslighting,  diminishing my problems or laughing them off. My daughter's teacher in the nursery says it's visible I need help. I really don't know what and how to do...

Just sharing.  Maybe someone else here experienced similar things.

Parents
  • I'm sorry to hear you're going through all this, I wish I could say it's unfamiliar, but it isn't and I've heard all this stuff before. WTF does what you look like have to do with ND? Does your Mum think everyone with ND has a second head or somethng?

    When I was first thinking about autism as a possibility and a contributary factor in all the things I struggle with, I was told I wasn't and to stop even thinking about it, this was from male autists, autism in women was only just starting to be recognised then, but it felt like such a slap in the face, like I was trying to steal something from them.

    I woud go ahead with diagnosis and be very upfront with who ever's assessing you that your Mum is hostile to this whole process and refuses to take part in it. I can't believe you will be the only person who's family are hostile.

  • I woud go ahead with diagnosis and be very upfront with who ever's assessing you that your Mum is hostile to this whole process and refuses to take part in it. I can't believe you will be the only person who's family are hostile

    Yes, I would say that directly.  Thank you for your answer.

    I aldo feel like stealing something from someone.

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