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"You can't be autistic"

Alien0n3arth

Sorry, if such topic was already discussed in the past in this forum.

I had a discussion recently with my mom and she is furious that my therapist suspects me autistic. She says that im nothing even close to autism. Here is why: 

- in fact I cried as a baby whenever taken in arms, but later on I used yo come to give a hug if someone told me so (it was stressful, but she doesn't know it, because I failed to express how much stressed I was)

- in fact I was always a weirdo and not playing with kids, my roleplay was very poor, but I was and still am very creative and exceptionally good at some fields (foreign languages,  arts, geometry)

- I'm in her words very special and different than others and I have my rich wonderful inner world (I shared with her how I perceive taste of words). So it's impossible that im autistic 

- I'm too attractive (I heard long years, that im ugly, but it seems to have changed within last 10 years and yes, now at age 37 I hear "beautiful young lady")

I feel like a freak, I was so many times abused, bullied, isolated, mistreated over the years, told that im unlikeable and it's my own fault, told that there us something wrong with me, forced on meds, misdiagnosed etc. And now when my therapist suggests a diagnosis that finally makes sense, my mom says its not and of course she wouldn't take part in the diagnosis process.  Like always preventing me from getting help, gaslighting,  diminishing my problems or laughing them off. My daughter's teacher in the nursery says it's visible I need help. I really don't know what and how to do...

Just sharing.  Maybe someone else here experienced similar things.

Parents

  • Your mother is not trained in autism assessment, her views are not relevant to whether or not you are autistic. Adult assessments can be made without parental input, where a parent's judgement might be biased, you just need input from someone who knows you well.

  • in reply to Martin

    The only person, who knows me well and could give some input is my husband, but he knows me 7 years, so obviously didn't know me when I was a child. I have some documentation such as my school reports (they show only grades and short note, that I was well behaved) that's it, I have the original of my own request through school to speak to a psychologist,  I was around 18 at that time and a certificate from Russian Olympic competitions in our capital city (national level) and it gave me free entrance to the university. Russian was my "big love" at that time so this could be kind of proof that I was really good at it.

    I have some copies of my own pictures from my childhood,  other projects from that time, also so.e sort of reports from Sommer camps where the teachers wrote that I was whiny and shy even as a teen. I also have photos of my Barbie dolls which I took care of as 15-18 years old and they were my whole world. For me they had personalities. Otherwise my activities were always creative works related to my special interest,  pacing room (I have a written confirmation per email that I do it since early childhood) and I do till now. 

    I don't know what evidence i can collect yet, this is all I have. Nobody in my family would support me in the diagnostic process and it's necessary for me to get help and enter a support group which I red, are very helpful 

Reply
  • in reply to Martin

    The only person, who knows me well and could give some input is my husband, but he knows me 7 years, so obviously didn't know me when I was a child. I have some documentation such as my school reports (they show only grades and short note, that I was well behaved) that's it, I have the original of my own request through school to speak to a psychologist,  I was around 18 at that time and a certificate from Russian Olympic competitions in our capital city (national level) and it gave me free entrance to the university. Russian was my "big love" at that time so this could be kind of proof that I was really good at it.

    I have some copies of my own pictures from my childhood,  other projects from that time, also so.e sort of reports from Sommer camps where the teachers wrote that I was whiny and shy even as a teen. I also have photos of my Barbie dolls which I took care of as 15-18 years old and they were my whole world. For me they had personalities. Otherwise my activities were always creative works related to my special interest,  pacing room (I have a written confirmation per email that I do it since early childhood) and I do till now. 

    I don't know what evidence i can collect yet, this is all I have. Nobody in my family would support me in the diagnostic process and it's necessary for me to get help and enter a support group which I red, are very helpful 

Children
  • in reply to Alien0n3arth

    Assessors need to have some indication of autistic traits that date back to early childhood. However, an autism assessment is just like any other medical diagnostic procedure, it is not a court of law requiring corroborative evidence. Your own recollections of how you were as a child should be enough. I was assessed at 59, with no parent still living, my wife provided a supporting statement. At the assessment I said that on starting school at four and a half years old I was selectively mute for three months. That was sufficient indication.