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Struggling

Chris

Hi 

Recently, during a phone call, a mental health worker suddenly started using a lot more metaphorical language than they normally do. I have spoken to this person before and has never used this much language, I have told him I have autism and I have spoke to him 5 times in the past trying to reach out, I have told him previous about people taken advantage of me before by overwhelming me with indirect language and lies and I become vulnerable, which is why I have been reaching out for support, this is why he has done this on purpose as I was reaching out because people had control over me and he understood that and done the same back this is bullying, and to get away with it all he is now saying it is just there language he uses, I have since rang back the service and now he lied to them saying it’s because I have autism and they can’t work with me because of the language barrier, I understand some indirect language as it’s not hard to match it but the way this person done it was to get a reaction out of me this is leaving me unable to cope as I have no friends or family and this was meant to be my support to help me develop correctly but it’s getting harder and harder the more I ask for help, all my hope has gone and don’t feel safe with anyone anymore 

has anyone else been manipulated by services who are meant to listen and help because they CANNOT get away with this disgusting behaviour 

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  • in reply to Chris

    it was a culmination of several things. Mostly my mental health had deteriarated which was affecting my relationships and work.

    I understood over the course of 14 years that my job prospects mental health and relationships were to a certain degree being sabotaged by domineering people.

    I realised that a lot of issues were compounded around relationships and workplaces, which largely orbited around NT dominant teams. Noticably these teams were dependent of on my skillset and work, but not treating me like a human being. I noticed I was being blatantly excluded and discriminated against and this was being ignored by managers.I decided to become self employed. 

    This was one turning point. The other thing is not being reliant on medications, as there is a looping fear that if you dont accept advice albeit medical or financial then career you will fail. I would say the opposite was true for me, so far as medications I have noticed people listing those to which I was prescribed so this seems pretty generic based on symptoms. 

    What I realised though was that I was not depressed or particularly shy or introverted I was actually being kicked around a lot by people in the World and this was becoming normalised. Those dark feelings of low or undewater or walking through treacle, may be depression, but they are also a symptom of severe anxiety coupled with extreme fatigue over a prolonged period. Its very difficult to separate feelings when they become this singular numbing pain. 

    If you start by cutting things out of life that you dont need. Prioritising your own needs not those you may have been preconditioned to believe by others that will be a start. This will require some introspection and will be an ongoing process,

    10 years before my diagnosis I started doing CBT around the time I realised this (what they have been doing), that was about ten years ago. You may see and hear things that you don't want to, so you need to build up ways of being resilient, such as wearing headphones and developing calmness strategies for being in public.

    The biggest dissapointment to me is how people have behaved towards me. This is what you will need to get over when you are fully aware. How disappointing most people are in reality. 

    Youre welcome to message me if you want any more details.