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Naive or not…

kiwipip

I’m interested in exploring the experience of people as an adult with autism and being assumed to be naive?

I think people have assumed this about me for some time that I’ve actually became excellent at seeing manipulation / patterns and have a level of self acceptance in that I don’t need to fit in for the sake of being included - I prefer to help people who struggle and are different and to do the right thing. I’m very happy with my own company and taking time out from social interactions.

What are other people’s experiences with their own company and needing to fit in? 

Parents

  • I think people are surprised ( and probably offended) when I don't tolerate their *** so I won't remain in their lives. I too don't need to fit in and I don't need to be around people for the sake of it. Whereas I think a lot of people do put up with *** and perhaps because they have a need to be around people so they don't want to end a relationship. Just my thoughts from what I've learnt in life.

  • in reply to BlueHawk

    Me too, people think I'm naive and easily led, I'm not, I do prefer to see the best rather than the worst in people, but that more like a default setting, seeing the best in people dosent' make me a doormat.

    I'm quite happy in my own company and don't need to be around loads of other people, I prefer not be around to many people at the same time as I find it exhausting.

    It's an interesting ability to be able to see the games people play, I get in trouble for naming the game and refusing to play it/them. I often ask people why the play the games they do and they don't know, I don't think people realise how transaprent they are, how much they can give away and how they telegraph their intentions. The problems arise when I don't see the games clearly or have never come across this sort of game before, particularly in romantic situations.

    I've pretty much given up on having people in my life, or rather being attached to having people in my life, most of the time it's more trouble than it's worth.

  • in reply to TheCatWoman

    it’s really good to hear your experience like this as I would mostly agree especially when seeing that people play games and you certainly don’t want to play games however stating that I’m not playing games seems to make them think that you’re too black and white…. 
    its almost like having to learn a new language sometimes Thinking

    I think it’s also a point that unfortunately autistic people are too often labelled as being naive etc and then treated accordingly without actually any validation of this and not being listened to which can push them into a negative spiral. 

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  • in reply to TheCatWoman

    it’s really good to hear your experience like this as I would mostly agree especially when seeing that people play games and you certainly don’t want to play games however stating that I’m not playing games seems to make them think that you’re too black and white…. 
    its almost like having to learn a new language sometimes Thinking

    I think it’s also a point that unfortunately autistic people are too often labelled as being naive etc and then treated accordingly without actually any validation of this and not being listened to which can push them into a negative spiral. 

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