Naive or not…

I feel a distrust of people I do not know. It is probably the opposite of naivety. If there is a queue of cars, I will walk out of my way beyond the queue so as not to have to cross the road between the cars. I do not trust drivers to see me as I cross, if the queue starts to move. I am trusting of people who have shown their trustworthiness, however.

I rarely get acused of black and white thinking, I just end up with play ground responses to what is basically a playground situation, they exclude me and carry on with their game, what amuses me is that they think I care, they get even more cross when they see that I don't, I think I'm supposed to feel punished?

External validation is really nice, it stops me feeling like my own ghost, haunting my life, but I am learning to do without it or to need much smaller amounts of it. I loved being at uni because I had feedback and validation from my lecturers, but I rarely find that now, but I've learnt not to expect it either and that some people are unable or unwilling to give it, either because they don't know what I'm talking about , or because they enjoy trying to bring me down. I really do think the tricks are not to seek validation from those unable to give, to ween yourself off the need for it, and if someone does try and rubbish you, stop and ask yourself whats actually going on here, are they rubbishing you or themselves?

This sounds like me.

It's also related to time and speed of events. If someone behaves narcissistic for some longer time and I have more time to analyse it, then I see it. The scam calls I know are scams because I red about it and I know that if it's anyone asking me for my data, money, they say, they are my bank, they say they are police or CIA or Youtube gives me 2€ for my comment, but I just need to give them my card details. It's all a scam or very likely a scam.

Of course, not everyone

Yeah I guess it depends on the subtlety of the situation and the people doing the scam …. 

People have assumed that I am naive, and sometimes I have been in the past, but not always. I think it was more about trying to fit in, as that was expected by my family and society, so it was a survival strategy.  

As I’ve got older, I’ve got wiser (I hope!) or perhaps I’m just happier being me and not trying too hard to fit in. I love being on my own but I enjoy meeting a couple of friends (separately) weekly, and occasionally some others who share my interests. 

I'm naive in face yo face situations.  Struggling a lot with irony, jokes (I don't recognise them at all) I usually need additional explanation to the situation, on daily basis. But if I get a call from CIA telling me, that my personal data was used for criminal activity, then sorry, I know it's a scam. I told them I'm gonna report them to the police and the CIA agent got scared and ended the call immediately hahaha! Of course the purpose of all this was to make me send them few hundred Euro in order to stop process of suing me. So there are situations that I see a manipulation or narcissistic behaviour or just a scam on the phone. Bit there are many situations when I get totally lost and it's easy to lie to me or manipulate me some ways. It was way worse in my childhood.  I used to do everything what someone told me, not to please people, but I simply didn't know, that I could or should refuse. And I still find myself sometimes in such situations and it leads me yo getting abused.

That might not be the reason why they don’t want to end a relationship. That might be an assumption 

it’s really good to hear your experience like this as I would mostly agree especially when seeing that people play games and you certainly don’t want to play games however stating that I’m not playing games seems to make them think that you’re too black and white…. 
its almost like having to learn a new language sometimes

I think it’s also a point that unfortunately autistic people are too often labelled as being naive etc and then treated accordingly without actually any validation of this and not being listened to which can push them into a negative spiral. 

Oh for sure, definitely more trouble than it's worth. I cannot be *** with the games people play.

Me too, people think I'm naive and easily led, I'm not, I do prefer to see the best rather than the worst in people, but that more like a default setting, seeing the best in people dosent' make me a doormat.

I'm quite happy in my own company and don't need to be around loads of other people, I prefer not be around to many people at the same time as I find it exhausting.

It's an interesting ability to be able to see the games people play, I get in trouble for naming the game and refusing to play it/them. I often ask people why the play the games they do and they don't know, I don't think people realise how transaprent they are, how much they can give away and how they telegraph their intentions. The problems arise when I don't see the games clearly or have never come across this sort of game before, particularly in romantic situations.

I've pretty much given up on having people in my life, or rather being attached to having people in my life, most of the time it's more trouble than it's worth.

I think people are surprised ( and probably offended) when I don't tolerate their *** so I won't remain in their lives. I too don't need to fit in and I don't need to be around people for the sake of it. Whereas I think a lot of people do put up with *** and perhaps because they have a need to be around people so they don't want to end a relationship. Just my thoughts from what I've learnt in life.