Highs and Lows

you have my empathy on that BlondeRagdoll 

from what I can make of it the approach I get from local autism services is that they say to me, yes that is correct when I and others say something like this - then they give a link to some on-line leaflet that affirms it again

then maybe some link to a service that they can apply for where the waiting list is a year long

this bearing in mind that autism doesn't do filling in forms and asking for help very well it seems...

Emotional regulation is acknowledged as a problem however society continues to inflict the causes on us 

So your job gets very busy this time of year - why doesn't society smooth the work out over the whole year - I suspect that for them it is just the "pick me up" they need around about now.  You and I can both get really stuck in any time of year but really we can both just go steady at a good reasonable rate if our stimulus/attention is maintained at a reasonable level...?

I said to my wife last night about this more level status thing... that I enjoy the highs however I hate the crashes - she gave the neurotypical logic of well then don't go so high...

Hmmm... 

Phased said:

I am lead to believe the solution is to seek to be on a more "level" status...

This is something I try but I find very hard. I work in a very busy job especially this time of year so I find the ADHD side of me is fully unleashed being in a hectic workplace. This, plus the masking of my autistic side leads to exhaustion and irritation amd as soon as I get home I want to cry. 

I can relate to the not knowing what emotion I am feeling. And I often don't know what triggers either. I purposely go shopping on a Tuesday night because it is the quiestest time people wise but obviously not for music! 

PS maybe it was the ice in meltdown in LIDL :-)

Yep - me too,  My wife thought I might be bipolar before diagnosis of autism.

Seems many traits are similar and there are plenty of examples of misdiagnosis.  Not clear how much evidence their is of autistic and bipolar co-existing...

I figure that for me the experience of being autistic can be so sh.. that you don't know whether to laugh or cry.

I am lead to believe the solution is to seek to be on a more "level" status...

Maybe something in that however I admit to liking that feeling of being high even tho' it regularly lead one into situations where the autism really works against one socially and cue a downer... 

Your example with the music is interesting - I wonder if it's because the music in Lidl isn't something you can control?  If you're listening to music at home, you've chosen to do it, you've put on something to suit your mood or that you like, while if you go shopping you have no control over what they play, what volume it is, and it's distracting when you're trying to focus on another task like finding a specific product.  That's definitely the case for me; I don't mind a bit of background music in a shop at a quiet volume, but these days it often seems so loud it's not possible to block it out.  My pet hate is TikTok: I can't deal with my wife or sons having it on at home because the music / sound changes so frequently and when I can't see the videos they're watching there's no context, so I can't tell when the music will change and it makes me feel really on edge.

I can definitely relate to the mood swings but often I find it hard to tell which emotion I'm actually feeling, aside from it being 'positive' or 'negative', and sometimes I've no idea what causes my mood to change either.  As I've got older I've learned to control my moods more effectively (probably masking, but it helps avoid unnecessary arguments in the family!).