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Nightly nightmares

Elfilis

I’m really struggling lately due to having such horrible nightmares! I mean last two night have involved me having jabs in my arms and even feet but the horrible thing is I can feel the jabs in my nightmares and I can feel them even when I'm awake. I’m also vividly seeing all the horrible people who have bullied me and I'm either reliving traumatic scenarios or I’m making them up in my sleep. Also keep having nightmares of dying or losing my mum. I’m waking up all hot and tacky and sometimes even crying a lot and for the whole day I’m just so jittery and on edge, then I go to bed and the whole vicious circle begins again. Last night for some reason my nightmare was all the bullies ganging up on me then next thing is I’m dying of birth complications?! I mean don’t ask me where the latter came from. 

Does anyone know how to stop the nightmares? Or is this something I’ll just have to deal with? 

Parents

  • Ever considered the possibility that the pain and birth complications are about being "reborn" as one's autistic self from being broadly treated badly by neurotypical society maybe?

    Maybe considering an interpretation like that might help?

  • in reply to Phased

    I started having a dream about the world blowing up I was sat on a plane and I felt the feeling of everything ending, but I think it’s more to do with wiping the imprints NTs left on my body so I can become myself which is the hardest part

  • in reply to Chris

    I imagine you are talking figuratively about the imprints on your body  In which case I get how that physical "mask" is and how we shape ourself in response to other peoples actions and reactions.

    If actual physical imprints from physical contact that's out of my league to understand.

    I did a lot of martial arts/ chinese yoga (qigong) I found it helped me physically re-integrate with myself although one has to be a bit careful as it can be like replacing one mask with another - not "finding yourself" if you get my drift.  Took a long while but now I can admit myself a bit more fully into my own body if that makes sense.

    That blowing up of the world seems a bit like completely destroying one's world view from a lofty perspective to me.  I really hope that you metaphorically landed safely!

  • in reply to Phased
    Phased said:
    we

    “Yes, the stress from masking and fawning created neuroplastic changes in my brain and body, but in ways that weren’t helpful or healthy. That’s what I meant by imprint.

    “Thanks — I’m still kind of hovering, not sure if it’s safe to land yet. I’m at a point in my journey where I’m really starting to understand how traumatic everything has been, I think it’s me trying to regulate everything instead of suppressing it, fawn is extremely painful and to the other person they love it how we are and think we are fine but really just in silent distress so I need to try and drop that mask or something 

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  • in reply to Phased
    Phased said:
    we

    “Yes, the stress from masking and fawning created neuroplastic changes in my brain and body, but in ways that weren’t helpful or healthy. That’s what I meant by imprint.

    “Thanks — I’m still kind of hovering, not sure if it’s safe to land yet. I’m at a point in my journey where I’m really starting to understand how traumatic everything has been, I think it’s me trying to regulate everything instead of suppressing it, fawn is extremely painful and to the other person they love it how we are and think we are fine but really just in silent distress so I need to try and drop that mask or something 

Children
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