My annual christmas related meltdowns have started.
Every year it destabilises me.
However much I try to contain it, the dread and required preparation loom over me for the whole of December and then it takes me most of January to recover.
Last year i faked covid at the last minute, managed to drive down to my mom's to drop off presents for everyone. I was a complete emotional mess on her driveway which of course was interpretted as my disappointment at missing out on Christmas. I didnt need to fake covid with friends as they'd watched my eating disorder relapse over the previous 6 months so understood my isolation as not wanting to be around food. This year, I've been a stable weight for 4 months and there's no chance of getting away with the covid lie two years in a row. plus, with my brother being abroad if I don't do christmas my mom will be on her own.
Is this a just me thing?
