christmas... tell me it's not just me

My annual christmas related meltdowns have started.

Every year it destabilises me.

However much I try to contain it, the dread and required preparation loom over me for the whole of December and then it takes me most of January to recover.

Last year i faked covid at the last minute, managed to drive down to my mom's to drop off presents for everyone. I was a complete emotional mess on her driveway which of course was interpretted as my disappointment at missing out on Christmas. I didnt need to fake covid with friends as they'd watched my eating disorder relapse over the previous 6 months so understood my isolation as not wanting to be around food. This year, I've been a stable weight for 4 months and there's no chance of getting away with the covid lie two years in a row. plus, with my brother being abroad if I don't do christmas my mom will be on her own.

Is this a just me thing?

Parents
  • No, it's not just you. I don't have any family that I see now at any time of the year, so Christmas is a nice quiet affair at home, just me and my other half, and even better now I'm retired as I don't have all the stress of colleagues going on about it.

    If your mother would be on her own if you don't spend it with her, would a better option be for you to invite her to your home where you have more control over things?

Reply
  • No, it's not just you. I don't have any family that I see now at any time of the year, so Christmas is a nice quiet affair at home, just me and my other half, and even better now I'm retired as I don't have all the stress of colleagues going on about it.

    If your mother would be on her own if you don't spend it with her, would a better option be for you to invite her to your home where you have more control over things?

Children
  • in theory yes, but she's not an easy guest. Unfortunately she lives just under 2 hours drive away so bringing her here would be an 8 hour driving commitment for me on top of any other hosting duties like cooking diner etc. She'd probably want to stay over too which is whole host of potential problems I'm trying to not imagine.