App recommendations for flexible routines?

I don't know. I feel bad because she seems to think cancelling is worse than rearranging but if I tell her it's not she might think I just don't care if I see her or not.

Brain in hand sounds amazing. I have a paper/pdf 'plan' that me and my support network made with flow charts and contacts on for when I can't think or properly communicate. It's not specific to situations though. It works quite well if I'm at home. Just having the brain in hand app must give you so much more confidence and independence!

I'll also look at Finch

Good for you being able to bail when the changes become too much.

I wonder if your friend knows how much stress it causes for you. ?

Thank you, writing down and working back.

This i can do.

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Thanks for illustrating so well how the apps benefit you. Brain in Hand seems really good for people who need to be out and about. 

Yes I do use both and yes I use them for different purposes.

I use Finch for daily/weekly maintenance tasks. These might be daily (Brushing teeth, breakfast, lunch, dinner, taking medication, making bed). Weekly (Food shop, food prep, clean bathroom, laundry) or a number of times a week (physio, shower). These are not overly complex tasks, although ones I do have to manually think about and do, and they aren't scheduled with not too many things that can go wrong with them

I use Brain in Hand for scheduling university activities and having lists for when these go wrong.

So let's say I create an event for a field trip. I will put some 'activities' in there (in this case travel, accessing lectures and seminars in person, meeting people, and fieldwork). Each of these 'activities' has a list of 'problems' that could occur, and under each of the problems is a number of solutions.

So for example in the activity Travel I have a problem called 'Train delayed' with the solutions: Try to remain calm, do some breathing exercises (linked to a website with breathing exercise video to focus on although I tend not to need it these days), Tell appropriate person (my field trip leader, with their attached phone number), Get later train (linked to the network rail website), and do I need to ask for help.

What this means is that when things go wrong, I've already done all the thinking and problem solving while calm, and I can follow the boxes to the solutions and do them while concentrating on not going into a  complete meltdown because unexpected change.

There are also solution packs (pre made and you can make custom ones) for more general unexpected issues. So I had to pull one out because I unexpectedly went into shutdown at a society meet and it a) tells me what to do and b) I've got mine set up so it links to a doc I can show someone to explain what's going on without me having to talk. 

So yeah, they both fulfil important roles in my life, but they are different roles.

Lonehare12 said:

if that changes I'm continually working times out in my head like how long this will take and can I fit that in.

I find it really helps to write this stuff down.

If the appointment moves to 3pm then I work out when I need to leave in order to get there 15 mins ahead of schedule (to allow for delays) which is, say, 2pm, then I work out the time to get ready to leave (brush teeth, wash and check I'm fresh, put on appropriate layers of clothes for the weather etc) which is say 1.30pm then I know I need to have lunch before then so will schedule this at 12.30 so I have time to clean up afterwards then I know I need to start lunch at 12.

This working back helps me get all the pre-requisites set, any alarms set I may need and puts my mind at rest so I can chill and just follow my plan. It takes 2 minutes to write it down and saves a load of stress.

Yes, that’s the one I was thinking of. Glad you find it helpful.

Do you use Finchcare alongside Brain in Hand and if so, do they serve different purposes?

Are you referring to Brain in Hand? I get this through DSA and I find it very helpful too

Hmm…I get the picture. I’m glad your friend was there to intervene. I remember seeing posts on this site about an app that also has input from a service provider for people with support needs. I can’t remember what it was called but I will look for it later today or tomorrow. 

https://finchcare.com/ 

This is the app I'm talking about. 

Might not be what you're looking for but I use Finch to manage what I refer to as 'life maintanance' 

which is the hygiene, food, cleaning, kind of things.

You have loads of flexibility in terms of when things are supposed to happen and a lot of control over grouping of tasks, frequency etc even with the free version

My need to do things that don't get done if I'm focussed on completing something tend to be life sustaining things like eating and sleeping, taking my bipolar meds and noticing I'm developing injuries. The incomplete task I get obsessed with doesn't need to be rewarding or something I'm generally interested in, intact it's probably worse if it something I don't want to do because I tell myself to keep doing it until it's done and I won't have to think about it again.. An extreme example would be, I spent weeks earlier this year sifting stones from soil, by the time my friend intervened I was pretty much unable to stand up straight and covered in blisters. I'd tried to take more breaks but I could only stop physically not mentally probably because i'd forgotten to take my meds which of course I continued to forget to take because all I could think about was sifting stones. All started with I'll just do 10 minutes because it wasn't something I wanted to do!

I took advantage of the free trial periods a while back, and I tried about six different apps, some of which were for people with ADHD. I’ve just had another look and I see there are now several apps for autistic people, although most of them are for children. I don’t think I could face trying them out, especially since my routine is more settled at the moment.

That 10 minute strategy has backfired a few times on me too, but those times haven’t always been bad. I think because I’m in my 60s and these last weeks I haven’t had anything unexpected that would get in the way of my routine, and there was nothing that absolutely had to be done, it hasn’t mattered if I keep going at a task such as cleaning/reorganising the cupboards/batch cooking. In fact, sometimes I wish I could keep going at that sort of thing more often as my motivation to complete disliked tasks is low. The main issues for me are low motivation to complete hated tasks and inadequate control of time spent on things I love do—it’s a sometimes manageable/unmanageable balance of sorts, until the next unplanned event creates chaos. I would like to try an app, if one were available, that would be in the form of a daily/weekly/monthly planner with multiple alarm functions to separate the tasks. If an AI driven alarm could plan my weeks, allowing for interruptions and dealing with chaos, even better.

I too struggle to adjust to simple alterations. I have a friend who makes plans and then constantly changes them. I've tried to set boundaries to keep her chaos in a window but find it really difficult to get her to stick to it. If she changes the plan more than once i bail. She doesn't seem to have noticed the pattern.

It's weird because I'm really good in a crisis. If I'm focused on one thing I can manage all kinds of chaos within it. My brother and I have a joke that when mom has a crisis I respond to it straight away and he starts his stopwatch. I can manage in full focus mode for a couple of days. I fully assess the entire situation and work out what is needed then I handover a clear plan for him to implement! If I can't hand it over on day 3 I start to be an additional crisis. 

I don't know if this is what you are struggling with but I get into lots of difficulty when appointment times change. 

I have a set routine up to the usual appointment time and if that changes I'm continually working times out in my head like how long this will take and can I fit that in. I think it might be called time blindness.

I haven't found a way to fix it only to try to have the same appointment times.

If you are meeting your basic needs that is something positive to build on.

Sorry I can't be of more help.

It's good to hear that other people find the routine apps stressful. I saw there was one available for iPhone which is AI driven and apparently designed for people like us but I can't find an android alternative. 

I use that only 10 minutes strategy too but it tends to backfire with me. Once I start something it seems I'm unable to think about anything else until it's totally complete. i tell myself I'm committing to a 10 minute tidying but before i realise I've spent the week reorganising the house and totally neglected everything else. 

I’ve tried apps for routines, but they made me more stressed when I couldn’t complete the task because something was due to happen, the unexpected happened or something took longer to complete. I now use the ‘notes’ app, ‘calendar’  and my ‘to do’ list on my phone,  and play catch up if an appointment or something else upsets my routine. I get worked up over things that need done or about people I need to see too. A while back it was all consuming. I have managed to get into a better routine these last few weeks, but I am trying to keep in mind that it will likely be shattered at some point and not to beat myself up about it.

I have found that if I tell myself to work as best as I can at something like cleaning for only 10 minutes and then stop, it doesn’t stress me so much, then often I keep going for an hour or so without too much difficulty. 

Ooh I've not ever thought it might be a kind of anxiety! I don't seem to get any physical symptoms of emotions my brain just shuts itself down so this a very interesting hypothesis! Thanks!

Do you get anxious.

If so it sounds like anticipatory anxiety. Even thinking about it changed my heart rate, gave me a feeling I my throat and made my hand sweat, for a few seconds.

I have it to varying degrees. It was much worse when younger.

It is hard to stick to routines. You have to try to, and use whatever you can to try to calm yourself. Breathing, distraction, tea, etc. I don't know what the solution is.

I also try to plan. If I know everything is covered and prepared it helps. Although I can then overthink it. Sometimes I just try to avoid thinking about it till the last moment.