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Masking positive traits

McFrost

Does anyone have experience of masking so much that even traits that might be deemed positive, needed to be covered up? My example of this is memory and observation. So many times I would be involved in, or be near to a conversation for which I had a very important piece of information that could really have contributed to the conversation, but I held it back. It was almost always to do with a piece of information that I remembered, often some trivia or a number or a name, or something I had observed that others wouldn't have noticed. I did it because I feared that others would think that I was weird for remembering or observing such a small detail, so I was embarrassed to say anything. Even if it would have been really useful to do so!

Just another way that we try to fit in with the neurotypical world I suppose. I just wish I had more confidence about the things I am good at!

Parents

  • I suppose so. But it is normal when you lack confidence. Everyone does it a bit when unsure.

    You are scared of saying the wrong thing or other people's reactions.

    1. It is a question of courage. If you try saying it, you may be surprised. It might not work every time, but that is the same for NTs, but they just ignore it. If you say something useful three quarters of the time it will be fine. Think of the times it works, nit the odd time it doesn't (which takes some practice).
Reply

  • I suppose so. But it is normal when you lack confidence. Everyone does it a bit when unsure.

    You are scared of saying the wrong thing or other people's reactions.

    1. It is a question of courage. If you try saying it, you may be surprised. It might not work every time, but that is the same for NTs, but they just ignore it. If you say something useful three quarters of the time it will be fine. Think of the times it works, nit the odd time it doesn't (which takes some practice).
Children
  • in reply to Stuart333

    You are right, and there was definitely a fear of being wrong that stopped me putting my hand up in class for instance, but what I am talking about is in more casual situations when I know I am right and don't otherwise have a huge problem joining in. It's the fact that I am right and might be considered weird for having such information in my head and easily accessible. Almost like people might think I had some sort of devious agenda and was making observations or collecting information for nefarious purposes. Sounds completely mad but that was the thought process! I am trying to let all that go and am doing quite well but it's still there to a certain extent.