Why do men like women who act like little girls?

I've never understood a lot of people's ideas of how to go about relationships. In uni, finding out about flatmates relationships, I could not get my head around the ideas of playing mind games, ones being drawn to boys that stole cars (literal bad boys), or ones that it seemed obvious they were being manipulated by boyfriends, to the point I started worrying that these boyfriends must have grown up in houses where their mothers must be in really abusive relationships  and wishing I could somehow help these invisible suffering women.

So glad I met my lovely straightforward husband and we are both quiet and rational. The biggest problems for him is dealing with my 'quirks', but at least we finally know why after 20+ years.

Cinnabar_wing said:

seemed obvious they were being manipulated by boyfriends, to the point I started worrying that these boyfriends must have grown up in houses where their mothers must be in really abusive relationships  and wishing I could somehow help these invisible suffering women.

I find this train of thought quite interesting.

The boyfriends are exhibiting bad behaviour and rather than think that they are acting out because they are suffering you jumped instead to their mother being abused instead.

There seem so many other options - perahaps the boys were abused by their mother, by siblings or father, maybe the boyfrineds are psychopaths, are mentally ill or anything else.

I have seen people project their own experiences this way when jumping to conclusions and it helps to realise this so you can better understand that there are so many other things it could be and that your bias is not allowed to interfere with the analysis.

I don't mean this as a dig and I don't expect an answer but consdering it when you are analysing a situation and you should help you reach a more balanced answer.

And why are you defending abusive behaviour and victim blaming? Why are you projecting onto me?

The specifics were the boyfriend insisted on keeping track on the girlfriends whereabouts all the time, that they would get angry if the girlfriends messaged anyone without their consent, insisted on reading the girls phone messages and the girl being kept in a state of fear, indeed when I met him and called him out for this behaviour, the girl defended him with such fear he would be angry with her later. The father was a builder and the boyfriend was going into the trade of the idolised father. His mother was not mentioned. 

I've never been abused myself but girls are often taught to recognise abusive controlling behaviour. It's in public toilets trying to reach those living in fear.

No Iain I don't feel that you're the victim here and it didn't seem '..clearly meant to be informational..' it read as confrontational, as gas lighting and as an attempt to shut down anothers experience.

Informational is an interesting word choice, because it did not come across as informational, but as condescending and dictatorial, hence me asking if you ever read your posts aloud to yourself. 

You live in a very black and white world where there is little room for error, when someone says something more conversational and not able to be backed up with learned articles, dictionary definitions, etc, it seems as though this presents you with an "out of context problem". When presented with an out of context problem you seek to bring it back into a context you understand by moving it to either black or white and if that cannot be done, then question the person who's raised the "out of context problem". The problem, is that this questioning comes across as aggressive and belittling.

Nobody wants or expects you to just post about puppies and kittens, few want that for this site either, but if you challenge other peoples thinking, then you have to accept that your thinking and views will be challenged too.

No Iain I don't feel that you're the victim here and it didn't seem '..clearly meant to be informational..' it read as confrontational, as gas lighting and as an attempt to shut down anothers experience.

Informational is an interesting word choice, because it did not come across as informational, but as condescending and dictatorial, hence me asking if you ever read your posts aloud to yourself. 

You live in a very black and white world where there is little room for error, when someone says something more conversational and not able to be backed up with learned articles, dictionary definitions, etc, it seems as though this presents you with an "out of context problem". When presented with an out of context problem you seek to bring it back into a context you understand by moving it to either black or white and if that cannot be done, then question the person who's raised the "out of context problem". The problem, is that this questioning comes across as aggressive and belittling.

Nobody wants or expects you to just post about puppies and kittens, few want that for this site either, but if you challenge other peoples thinking, then you have to accept that your thinking and views will be challenged too.