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Does anyone else sometimes (or most of the time...) struggle with banter?!

Near

I don't know what it is, but even though, I can 100% process in my brain that someone is my friend and would never seriously gloat or be mean to me, when I lose something like a game and they try to do some playful jokes about beating me or being better, I verbally shutdown and feel immense sorrow and rage (and then quietly and politely withdraw somewhere), I think it might stem from my very black and white viewpoint of what is just or fair, and any sort of rubbing in victory in the faces of opponents is something I am against completely and whenever I win anything I always take time to make sure the other person is fine or talk to them

But why, when yet again, i know it's my friend, just making a small joke about doing better then me, can I not just overlook it?! because I logically know they don't mean it, I can process that completely, but I still feel all the emotions can get so over-dramatic in secret over what is basically nothing.

Does anyone else struggle with this?! I feel like I'm crazy, how do people deal with this?

Parents

  • Yes it’s totally pointless. and assumes a lot of things about you.

    personally I don’t need it to feel accepted or part of a group. Mainly because I see it as pretense.

    Small talk is not the real topic. People who are extraverts or typical neuro love it because it allows them to test people. 

    Banter I view as a kind of more aggressive or boisterous kind of testing of your interests. Like this will somehow define the kind of person you are. I remember at school I had no interest in football, which was all that occupied other boys minds at that age and probably still does those same men now. There are things I perceive as vulgar about banter which I mostly keep quiet about.

    The worst thing now is seeing young women behaving in an oyky way because they think this generation men are going to put them on a level playing field.

    I avoid it if I can. I think I’ve gone off the subject here a bit….

Reply

  • Yes it’s totally pointless. and assumes a lot of things about you.

    personally I don’t need it to feel accepted or part of a group. Mainly because I see it as pretense.

    Small talk is not the real topic. People who are extraverts or typical neuro love it because it allows them to test people. 

    Banter I view as a kind of more aggressive or boisterous kind of testing of your interests. Like this will somehow define the kind of person you are. I remember at school I had no interest in football, which was all that occupied other boys minds at that age and probably still does those same men now. There are things I perceive as vulgar about banter which I mostly keep quiet about.

    The worst thing now is seeing young women behaving in an oyky way because they think this generation men are going to put them on a level playing field.

    I avoid it if I can. I think I’ve gone off the subject here a bit….

Children
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