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Does anyone else sometimes (or most of the time...) struggle with banter?!

Near

I don't know what it is, but even though, I can 100% process in my brain that someone is my friend and would never seriously gloat or be mean to me, when I lose something like a game and they try to do some playful jokes about beating me or being better, I verbally shutdown and feel immense sorrow and rage (and then quietly and politely withdraw somewhere), I think it might stem from my very black and white viewpoint of what is just or fair, and any sort of rubbing in victory in the faces of opponents is something I am against completely and whenever I win anything I always take time to make sure the other person is fine or talk to them

But why, when yet again, i know it's my friend, just making a small joke about doing better then me, can I not just overlook it?! because I logically know they don't mean it, I can process that completely, but I still feel all the emotions can get so over-dramatic in secret over what is basically nothing.

Does anyone else struggle with this?! I feel like I'm crazy, how do people deal with this?

Parents

  • Totally sympathise. As a child, I used to go absolutely b*tsh*t when I lost at games and got teased about it. There's banter and then there's banter; some is gentle, some is unkind. Where's the borderline where you see the tip of a knife peeking out under the guise of 'banter'? I find this term allows passive-aggressive people to retreat safely. "Oh, it's only banter." I can understand punching the air and shouting, "I won!" but not "I'm better than you-ooo, ner ner." In other contexts, I've learned to banter, but in some situations there's inner tension as I work to keep up.

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  • Totally sympathise. As a child, I used to go absolutely b*tsh*t when I lost at games and got teased about it. There's banter and then there's banter; some is gentle, some is unkind. Where's the borderline where you see the tip of a knife peeking out under the guise of 'banter'? I find this term allows passive-aggressive people to retreat safely. "Oh, it's only banter." I can understand punching the air and shouting, "I won!" but not "I'm better than you-ooo, ner ner." In other contexts, I've learned to banter, but in some situations there's inner tension as I work to keep up.

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