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Does anyone else sometimes (or most of the time...) struggle with banter?!

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I don't know what it is, but even though, I can 100% process in my brain that someone is my friend and would never seriously gloat or be mean to me, when I lose something like a game and they try to do some playful jokes about beating me or being better, I verbally shutdown and feel immense sorrow and rage (and then quietly and politely withdraw somewhere), I think it might stem from my very black and white viewpoint of what is just or fair, and any sort of rubbing in victory in the faces of opponents is something I am against completely and whenever I win anything I always take time to make sure the other person is fine or talk to them

But why, when yet again, i know it's my friend, just making a small joke about doing better then me, can I not just overlook it?! because I logically know they don't mean it, I can process that completely, but I still feel all the emotions can get so over-dramatic in secret over what is basically nothing.

Does anyone else struggle with this?! I feel like I'm crazy, how do people deal with this?

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  • Some people are bad winners, I don't get why they should make comments about their losing oppenents either. I used to get upset when I lost, because I thought it meant that I was bad in some way, litterally a loser. It dosen't help that I'm not competitive and don't really understand it or the "competitive spirit", it just freaks me out.

    Other sorts of banter I'm quite good at, although I can go over the top with it, it was part of the culture where I grew up, everybody did it, I learned as a form of self defence as much as anything else.

  • in reply to TheCatWoman

    Thank you for writing this! you've put it better than I ever could, I can do "banter" to some extent, it happened all the time in places like school, but in some contexts like board games or sports it'd just be crushing because I was admittedly bad at accepting defeat if someone isn't graceful

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  • in reply to TheCatWoman

    Thank you for writing this! you've put it better than I ever could, I can do "banter" to some extent, it happened all the time in places like school, but in some contexts like board games or sports it'd just be crushing because I was admittedly bad at accepting defeat if someone isn't graceful

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