Frustrations

Expecto_Patronum said:

Really want these mental spirals to go away.

Sometimes I find it helpful to try to put my issues into context when other solutions don't work.

I think how much worse it could be - I could be dying of a horrible disease with only pain and suffering ahead of me, I could have lost those I most care about, I could be falsely accused and sent to prison, I could lose control of my body and be essentially a vegetable but a prisoner in my own body etc etc

By realising how much worse life could be it helps me feel less bad about the things that are going against me and gives me more control to shut down those spiralling thoughts.

We all have bad weeks but remember it can get better and this happens best when you can focus and work on your own issues without relying on outside help.

When was the last time you had a solid nights sleep?

Depends what you mean by a solid night's sleep. The last 2 nights have been a lot worse than usual.

However I'm aware that even in a good week, I don't sleep enough in the week and then I over sleep at the weekend because I'm so tired. So at the weekend I definitely slept but I don't know whether you'd count it as solid because my body was trying to play catch up and I ended up going back to bed more than once because I felt so exhausted.

I'm not sure the solution to my usual sleep issue. I've tried different things and my brain just doesn't seem to want to sleep for more than 6 hours max at a time but clearly this is not enough for me. I've tried going to bed earlier but my brain thinks this is a nap and wakes me up again within an hour. Ive tried going to bed later so I'll sleep a bit later but I seem to wake up and hour before I need to like clockwork. So I've just had to stick with the time that seems to give me the most sleep. 

This week that's gone out the window. The first night I made the mistake of having an early night, slept for half an hour and then was awake for hours. Last night I did the opposite. I tried going to bed later so that I'd sleep through but my brain was still so agitated that I was struggling to get to sleep and then when I did, I had a dream and woke myself up again. I did manage to get to sleep again and had more sleep than the night before but definitely not enough.

Expecto_Patronum said:

I'm aware that even in a good week, I don't sleep enough in the week and then I over sleep at the weekend because I'm so tired.

Your body will typically work much better if it has a consistent routine for all 7 days and sleep is a big part of its regulation mechanism so is something worth taking some effort to improve.

I can't give medical advice of course but I can tell you how I manage it.

1 - have a routine in the evening to relax. I stop eating or drinking anything but water after 7pm (mostly for another medical condition) which regulates my blood sugar level well. Screen time stops an hour before sleep and I clear all my chores and tasks as early as I can then take time to read in the last hour or two.

2 - I make sure my body is tired, not just my mind, I try to go to the gym 5-6 times a week and if I don't feel sleepy then either have an evening quick workout or some sexual relief depending on the situation and who is there. A hot shower helps relax and shoulder tension and then it is straight to bed with some water to drink.

3 - When in bed I will use a notepad and write out any tasks I have to deal with the next day, things I need to remember etc and get it all out of my mind so I do not fear forgetting it. This decluttering is important.

4 - once the lights are off and I'm snug I will close my eyes and use one of the meditation exercises of mentally "feeling" for my muscles starting with my toes and working up to my head, making them relax as I go. I rarely make it all the way to the end.

5 - if something is really keeping me awake - noise from a party, a worry or a nagging ache for example then I will self medicate with an over-the-counter antihistamine which knocks me out quite effectively for the night. Different active ingredients have different strenghts of effects I find but they are cheap (the own brand ones that is). 

If you take any other medication then I would advise checking with your GP before self medicating this way.

If you have recurring dreams, anxieties etc then this is something to take up with a therapist as it needs to be dealt with at source (ie in your head) rather than treating the symptoms (the poor sleep).

It also helps to get some fresh air in the room before bedtime to keep the oxygen levels up, to keep yourself hydrated (not too much so you need to go to the bathroom at night though) and to keep tabs on what woke you  - keep a notepad and pen by the bedside to keep a sort of journal of what you were dreaming about as it is likely to fade from memory fast and it can be useful to spot subliminal things that need to be addressed in therapy.

Expecto_Patronum said:

I'm aware that even in a good week, I don't sleep enough in the week and then I over sleep at the weekend because I'm so tired.

Your body will typically work much better if it has a consistent routine for all 7 days and sleep is a big part of its regulation mechanism so is something worth taking some effort to improve.

I can't give medical advice of course but I can tell you how I manage it.

1 - have a routine in the evening to relax. I stop eating or drinking anything but water after 7pm (mostly for another medical condition) which regulates my blood sugar level well. Screen time stops an hour before sleep and I clear all my chores and tasks as early as I can then take time to read in the last hour or two.

2 - I make sure my body is tired, not just my mind, I try to go to the gym 5-6 times a week and if I don't feel sleepy then either have an evening quick workout or some sexual relief depending on the situation and who is there. A hot shower helps relax and shoulder tension and then it is straight to bed with some water to drink.

3 - When in bed I will use a notepad and write out any tasks I have to deal with the next day, things I need to remember etc and get it all out of my mind so I do not fear forgetting it. This decluttering is important.

4 - once the lights are off and I'm snug I will close my eyes and use one of the meditation exercises of mentally "feeling" for my muscles starting with my toes and working up to my head, making them relax as I go. I rarely make it all the way to the end.

5 - if something is really keeping me awake - noise from a party, a worry or a nagging ache for example then I will self medicate with an over-the-counter antihistamine which knocks me out quite effectively for the night. Different active ingredients have different strenghts of effects I find but they are cheap (the own brand ones that is). 

If you take any other medication then I would advise checking with your GP before self medicating this way.

If you have recurring dreams, anxieties etc then this is something to take up with a therapist as it needs to be dealt with at source (ie in your head) rather than treating the symptoms (the poor sleep).

It also helps to get some fresh air in the room before bedtime to keep the oxygen levels up, to keep yourself hydrated (not too much so you need to go to the bathroom at night though) and to keep tabs on what woke you  - keep a notepad and pen by the bedside to keep a sort of journal of what you were dreaming about as it is likely to fade from memory fast and it can be useful to spot subliminal things that need to be addressed in therapy.

I go through phases with sleep. When it's like it is this week, nothing seems to helps. But eventually I will manage to settle back into a routine and get to sleep in a reasonable amount of time. However, I then just wake up early instead which doesn't allow me to have more sleep and is very difficult to stop. As this seems to very much happen on week days I very much think it is due to the anticipation of work and not being able to switch off from it. Work will feature in my dreams sometimes.

I absolutely agree that therapy is needed. This is where I'm stuck in a frustrating loop though. There are quite a lot of things that I need to address in therapy. But so far my experience of therapy hasn't been strong. I don't currently know what the NHS will actually offer me until I can have this 1 off appointment they had suggested. However, the restricted number of sessions and lack of neurodiversity knowledge is a huge barrier with NHS therapy. I am currently unclear as to whether it's possible to get anything longer on NHS. I was confused when speaking to them on the phone as he just kept saying well you've been referred to talking therapies so that's the offer but he wasn't being clear as to whether there was another therapy department you could be referred to.

Unfortunately, at the moment, I just cannot afford to go private and as I think it would need to be a long period of sessions, it would be a huge financial commitment. I have found previously that a limit on sessions is very problematic for me as it takes a long time for me to be comfortable enough to open up.

I'm taking notes, this is some good sleeping advice.