Starting to realise these emotions shutdowns are meltdowns pretty much first time im truly aware of it if that's a thing anyway it was really bad yesterday I said really horrible stuff to an online friend I can't control what I say and it's horrible. What should I do because I don't want it to happen again today. I want to cry but I can't either not been able in years. 34 years of age it's so embarrassing uncontrollable emotions.
I don't think its embarrassing at all. It's so hard to be rational about feelings and emotions, especially when you're in a heightened state. But you're recognising that your emotions lead to you taking certain actions, and you're remorseful about it afterwards - that's huge. You might not be able to pre-empt what happens yet but you want things to change, and that's enough for today!
How was your day in the end today? 
I don't think its embarrassing at all. It's so hard to be rational about feelings and emotions, especially when you're in a heightened state. But you're recognising that your emotions lead to you taking certain actions, and you're remorseful about it afterwards - that's huge. You might not be able to pre-empt what happens yet but you want things to change, and that's enough for today!
How was your day in the end today?
