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Second day meltdown coming again

NAS76953

Starting to realise these emotions shutdowns are meltdowns pretty much first time im truly aware of it if that's a thing anyway it was really bad yesterday I said really horrible stuff to an online friend I can't control what I say and it's horrible. What should I do because I don't want it to happen again today. I want to cry but I can't either not been able in years. 34 years of age it's so embarrassing uncontrollable emotions.

  • NAS76953 said:
    I said really horrible stuff to an online friend I can't control what I say and it's horrible.

    Short term write to them when you are in a better place mentally and apologise and try to explain what happened. 

    Now comes the hard bit - reducing the chances of it happening again. How do do this? This is what I would do:

    1 - when you feel it starting, go offline. Agree a signal to your close friends / family that you are in a bad place and are going offline so you don't say things you don't mean.

    2 - Once you are in a better place, try to get some help in being able to spot these meltdowns happening and develop ways of removing the fuel for them. A therapist is the ideal thing to teach you this but you may be able to learn yourself with trial and error.

    Meltdowns are all too common for autists and it helps to realise that they are basically your brain overloading itself and going into a mode that is far from "normal" for you. It varies from person to person.

    Once you can learn to head it off before it builds to the point of meltdown then you are probably in as good a place as you can get to. It is all about managing the stressers and identifying the signs.

  • I think the first step is recognising it as a meltdown, then you can start being able to deal with it better, so it's already a first step! Maybe when you are feeling the heat rising, take yourself to a safe space when you feel comfortable and away from devices so you can't accidently interact with others when you are not in control. What you do then will depend on what helps you personally, breathing exercises, grounding or throwing some paper balls around. Maybe someone else has suggestions?

    And you can just tell your friend you were having a bad day for personal reasons and apologise if it's appropriate, and hopefully that can be enough?

  • I don't think its embarrassing at all. It's so hard to be rational about feelings and emotions, especially when you're in a heightened state. But you're recognising that your emotions lead to you taking certain actions, and you're remorseful about it afterwards - that's huge. You might not be able to pre-empt what happens yet but you want things to change, and that's enough for today!

    How was your day in the end today? Slight smile