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My predicament

Elfilis

The horrible past traumas are all rearing their ugly heads and tormenting and upsetting me etc. my self doubts and these various nasty voices are as loud as ever and I can’t focus or even sleep well. Also having nightly nightmares which leave me panicked, shocked, uneasy etc for like the whole day and then I get anxious with the thought of going to sleep. 

Normally she (my mum) helps me with my techniques which involves mentioning the things that I like, but now once again she is mentioning this celebrity who she has a crush on and she thinks I also have a crush on him. I never have but I’m scared to say anything she ends up saying stuff like “why don’t you like him” or something. I’ve tried saying he’s not a nice person IRL, I’ve even freaked out when she mentions him, I’ve tried changing the subject or not showing interest when she mentions him but all to no avail. I’ve even tried to drown her out when she mentions him but then she says this “isn’t like me”.

I mean I’ve had crushes before but omg I was never as obsessed and went on about them compared to my mum with this bloke. 

If I'm struggling I’ll let her know and she replies to me whenever she can sending and talking about things I like. But now she has once again started sending this crush of hers and I don’t want to put up with seeing him but I also don’t want to not mention the stuff that does help me or even put that stuff away. I just don’t know how to get through to her and not upset her at the same time. 

Sorry this has ended up being a long post, guess I just needed to get it off my chest. If anyone has any advice I’ll be grateful. 

Parents

  • I also have problems with my mom. She never accepted not only autism but any of my problems at all, and there were massive problems in the past and I still have them. Her "comforting" me was like: 

    - how are you inferior to others? What kind of stupidity have you imagined?

    - do you think that a psychologist would help you? (After my cries and begging for help, because I couldn't cope)

    - it's not only you! Everyone or X% of the society has the same problems! (While I knew I was profoundly different and my problems were much different that those of majority of my peers)

    - what kind of problems you could possibly have, you've got such a beautiful daughter! (I hear it since I gave birth)

    Yes I do have a daughter,  I'm happy she is healthy, but it makes me furious how she treats me my whole life, I hate her gaslighting and ignoring. I do talk to my mom but avoid anything related to my problems. 

  • in reply to Alien0n3arth

    Totally get you 

    It's sad that our mum's are like this and I'm only just realizing how manipulative mine has been.

    I'm trying not to feel guilty for not visiting, I do call her but even that can me difficult.

  • in reply to Lonehare12

    Sorry to interrupt here, I just wanted to say how sorry I am that you have also had a hard time. My nan has become much needy and demanding towards everyone and my mum has to do all the running around, I’m trying to say to my mum to have a break but then she gets pestered with the phone calls and if they get ignored then my nan would call the police. 

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  • in reply to Lonehare12

    Sorry to interrupt here, I just wanted to say how sorry I am that you have also had a hard time. My nan has become much needy and demanding towards everyone and my mum has to do all the running around, I’m trying to say to my mum to have a break but then she gets pestered with the phone calls and if they get ignored then my nan would call the police. 

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