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My predicament

Elfilis

The horrible past traumas are all rearing their ugly heads and tormenting and upsetting me etc. my self doubts and these various nasty voices are as loud as ever and I can’t focus or even sleep well. Also having nightly nightmares which leave me panicked, shocked, uneasy etc for like the whole day and then I get anxious with the thought of going to sleep. 

Normally she (my mum) helps me with my techniques which involves mentioning the things that I like, but now once again she is mentioning this celebrity who she has a crush on and she thinks I also have a crush on him. I never have but I’m scared to say anything she ends up saying stuff like “why don’t you like him” or something. I’ve tried saying he’s not a nice person IRL, I’ve even freaked out when she mentions him, I’ve tried changing the subject or not showing interest when she mentions him but all to no avail. I’ve even tried to drown her out when she mentions him but then she says this “isn’t like me”.

I mean I’ve had crushes before but omg I was never as obsessed and went on about them compared to my mum with this bloke. 

If I'm struggling I’ll let her know and she replies to me whenever she can sending and talking about things I like. But now she has once again started sending this crush of hers and I don’t want to put up with seeing him but I also don’t want to not mention the stuff that does help me or even put that stuff away. I just don’t know how to get through to her and not upset her at the same time. 

Sorry this has ended up being a long post, guess I just needed to get it off my chest. If anyone has any advice I’ll be grateful. 

Parents

  • My mum's best advice to me: "let them get on with it" :-)

  • in reply to Phased

    If you don’t mind me asking, what are you meaning in this case? Like let my mum get on with reality? Or let her waffle on and I ignore her? Or something else? Forgive me for asking 

    Ironically my mum always says that when she’s talking about her mum. It’s just a pain for me because my mum won’t accept the truth in this particular situation. 

  • in reply to Elfilis

    I don't mind you asking    In fact i am happy and thank you for doing so :-)

    Yep my mum and yours are saying the same thing.

    If your mum won't accept the truth in this particular solution it is because their truth is different from yours.

    If you're right and they don't want to see it yet then....

    If you're wrong then...

    "let them get on with it" 

    I say this unless there is a truly life threatening risk - the intervene with the minimum possible force :-)

  • in reply to Elfilis

    Thanks for sharing  

    Best response I can come up with is that "people are weird"!

    best wishes!

  • in reply to Phased

    I completely get that, I really do. If I ever did get the chance to say my opinion, the chances of her not believing are very high. I just don’t understand what it is about this guy that makes him so special compared to all her other crushes?! Why does she expect me and everyone to have a crush on him? I literally ask her these questions and all I get is “it’s *name*” or “what’s not to like about him” or “have you got s in your eyes”. As I write this I’ve had a gif of him ugh. 

    My mum even keeps imagining me marrying him! Seriously I’d rather be married to Tec xx of ttyd and he’s a computer (playing the game right now). But then she goes on about the fact her crush is married, why should I care? If I did I’d be jealous and in tears. I’ve been like this before with my own crushes whether they are celebs or not but now I look back and think wtf did I see in them anyway. Hope my mum will finally think this with the block she fancies and obsesses over. Seriously she’s like a teen and I’m now the parent lol!  Like I guess I know what it’s like to be a parent after all lol!

    Thanks for listening (or reading)

  • in reply to Elfilis

    If she asks your opinion hen that's the door open (hehe at least a little bit...)

    You might try to engineer situations when the door is open a bit.... but even then....  I personally rarely expect others to see things the same way as I do unless we are "sympathico" :-)

  • in reply to Elfilis

    Pleased you get it  

    Mum has her coping strategies too maybe...

    As Homer Simpson says "doh!"  :-)

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