Trigger warning- mental health and SI

Hi Abigail To take your question literally.

"How long do you keep holding on for nothing to change?"  Being a right old pedant - I don't think I do - change is kindoff always happening.

However if I stop being a pr@ and answer what I think your question is about.

I've had SI on and off since adolescence and I'm now 63.  There is I feel a limit to how much one feels one can take. 

In the past I responded to these thoughts as if a metaphor and "killed off the old me" with a sort of rebranding that on reflection I was creating another mask to wear.

After diagnosis (3 years ago) I have gradually been able to come around to getting a hang on an "authentic" me however I still find flash backs and triggers that push my panic and "is it all worth it" buttons.

This'll come as maybe mean advice 'cos I do know just how empty the tank can get.  Anyway - it'll change when you want it enough and are ready enough for it.

Meanwhile your efforts in this direction aren't wasted as they are "priming the pump" and things start to drop into place a bit eventually based on my personal experience.

One doesn't need a degree in psychology to appreciate how experiences can shape one's perception of oneself.

My work, like yours, has mostly been about helping others - probably to get a sense of self-worth that for some reason I was missing.

I kind off got to the point eventually of making it my work to help myself and make at least a part time job out of that.

You will no doubt find plenty of advice and schemes for how to do that and eventually...  I haven't got a crystal ball that says when tho' Sorry :-(

Meanwhile you deserve to be happy and live a fulfilling life - just saying :-)

Best Wishes

Hi Abigail To take your question literally.

"How long do you keep holding on for nothing to change?"  Being a right old pedant - I don't think I do - change is kindoff always happening.

However if I stop being a pr@ and answer what I think your question is about.

I've had SI on and off since adolescence and I'm now 63.  There is I feel a limit to how much one feels one can take. 

In the past I responded to these thoughts as if a metaphor and "killed off the old me" with a sort of rebranding that on reflection I was creating another mask to wear.

After diagnosis (3 years ago) I have gradually been able to come around to getting a hang on an "authentic" me however I still find flash backs and triggers that push my panic and "is it all worth it" buttons.

This'll come as maybe mean advice 'cos I do know just how empty the tank can get.  Anyway - it'll change when you want it enough and are ready enough for it.

Meanwhile your efforts in this direction aren't wasted as they are "priming the pump" and things start to drop into place a bit eventually based on my personal experience.

One doesn't need a degree in psychology to appreciate how experiences can shape one's perception of oneself.

My work, like yours, has mostly been about helping others - probably to get a sense of self-worth that for some reason I was missing.

I kind off got to the point eventually of making it my work to help myself and make at least a part time job out of that.

You will no doubt find plenty of advice and schemes for how to do that and eventually...  I haven't got a crystal ball that says when tho' Sorry :-(

Meanwhile you deserve to be happy and live a fulfilling life - just saying :-)

Best Wishes

hehe just re-read and realised I've over aged myself - I'm 61!