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Comments from co-workers

kiwipip

Hi everybody,

I was wondering how people cope with co-workers making comments towards you such as telling me I’m over thinking if I’m struggling to understand what somebody is inferring or how to interpret a situation. I think if I made comments like that to any of my colleagues I would possibly be reported for bullying and marginalising behaviour, however it doesn’t seem to work the other way around. 

I don’t want to disclose to my co-workers that I have autism as In the past I have found this actually increases bullying and harassment and obsessive behaviour towards myself but I also don’t want to be discriminated against with off hand comments so I now generally keep quiet and internalise things I may normally query. Will this likely to be resolved in a cliquey culture and is it something worth bringing up with my manager if I don’t know them that well. Should I talk to somebody outside of my team first? 

any thoughts or experiences would be appreciated 

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  • pietro_21 said:
    I have been a whistleblower twice and have both times been burned.

    Would you do it a third time if you saw something out of place?

  • in reply to Iain

    Yes,100%, I am not going to join them when I can beat them. 

    Reasons - the law, freedom of conscience, not to be intimidated or manipulated, not to have truth or trust exploited, not to allow intelligence and intelligent people to be surpressed. 

    Part of the problem with work is not everyone follows procedures. There are people who will never behave or will always undermine systems. This is to some extent never fully disallowed or protected against. Often policies and workplace laws only act as a disclaimer to say that they did things in the best knowledge. Not in the interest say of someone employed under an equal opportunities scheme.

    They could be much better companies, athentically pursuing missions. instead we have a lot of slovenly people doing the minimum they can possible. This affects the performance of entire industries, whereby the overall performance becomes mediocre and accepted as normality.  There are so many people in safe jobs working as a team to force decent people out, in order to keep the complicit system alive.  

    Rant over. ;

  • in reply to pietro_21
    pietro_21 said:
    Yes,100%, I am not going to join them when I can beat them. 

    This will sabotage your chances of keeping your job every time. So long as you are aware of the price of this rigid rule following then go for it, but if you want to keep your job then you need to learn that rules are routinely bent and broken almost everywhere.

    pietro_21 said:
    Part of the problem with work is not everyone follows procedures.

    This is true yet the business continues to function. Procedures are guidelines, not hard and fast rules.

    pietro_21 said:
    There are so many people in safe jobs working as a team to force decent people out, in order to keep the complicit system alive.  

    You know how the system works. You fight it and loose. The system continues to exist unchanged. What can you learn from this?

    Life is fundamentally unfair, systems are inherrently corrupt and if you ruffle others feathers then expect to get pecked.

    Your decision is therefore simple. Keep doing what you do and you will keep getting kicked out. Learn the system, work within it to slowly improve it and that is about as much as you can ever hope to do in life.

    It sucks but this is reality. You can now make an informed decision.

  • in reply to pietro_21
    pietro_21 said:
    Lack of awareness of the level of corporate and legal manipulation is one of the biggest injustices

    But it is as old as employment. Favoured employees can get away with loads of things that would get others dismissed. Mates get promoted over mere minions. This is the way.

    I find that it helps to understand the system and work within it as best I can - make friends with managers or those with influence and you get promoted.

    Fairness if subjective and there is always bias. Hating it won't stop it, calling it out will just lead to you getting targetted as a troublemaker and not playing by the "rules" of this will just leave you out in the cold at best.

    If you can change your mindset from resentment to acceptance and using the "rules" then it gets way easier in life.

Reply
  • in reply to pietro_21
    pietro_21 said:
    Lack of awareness of the level of corporate and legal manipulation is one of the biggest injustices

    But it is as old as employment. Favoured employees can get away with loads of things that would get others dismissed. Mates get promoted over mere minions. This is the way.

    I find that it helps to understand the system and work within it as best I can - make friends with managers or those with influence and you get promoted.

    Fairness if subjective and there is always bias. Hating it won't stop it, calling it out will just lead to you getting targetted as a troublemaker and not playing by the "rules" of this will just leave you out in the cold at best.

    If you can change your mindset from resentment to acceptance and using the "rules" then it gets way easier in life.

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