Occupational health/probation

Invisible_me said:

I was doing really well had good shifts then ladt thurs because of bonfire night upset of comments I didn't go in , and was so tired I couldn't tell anyone in not coming in. 

This will be a big red flag for them unfortunately. The lack of communication is going to be what I think they will focus on as the employee rulebook will no doubt say that you must contact them.

Do you have anyone you could have used to send the message for you? If not can you do this in future?

The once change I think you will have here is to apologise, say you were in a state you were unable to use your phone and could not contact them. Tell them you have put in place a mechanism where someone else will be able to do this for you should you ever be incapacitated again.

Invisible_me said:

all I want is a supportive 121 conversation. 

Since you have broken the rules in the employee rulebook I expect this will be a meeting with an HR person present as it is likely to impact your probation. You broke the rules and there are consequences, but like anybody else in your situation,

I would expect them to ask for an explanation so make sure you have this ready in advance, ideally written down in case you feel stressed.

Consider how you can tell them it will be avoided in future (both being absent and getting in contact if it happens).

I would expect they may offer to extend your probation to 6 months so they can monitor you further and make sure you are not working beyond your ability to cope. If this happens then chill - it is one of the better outcomes.

The single biggest thing I would take from this is that you need to work on reducing your chances of having a meltdown like this again. I would recommend spending some money on a therapist who understands autism well and can help you manage the build up to meltdowns to avoid them happening.

If you can do this then tell you manager as this shows initiative and self development on your part and also shows you are making efforts to be reliable for them.

That would be my expectations of the process and my thoughts on what I would do in your situation.

Hi lain.

Thanks for reply. My message below (repky to stuart333) might explain.more on my situation...

I get i have to let them know... I texted the manager on shift (im allowed to message than call), at 8am however my signal is bad so it didn't go through. I emailed Tuesday that I might not be able to come in Thursday depending on overwhelm. I went to sleep from exhaustion after messaging at 8 to even knkw it didn't go through. I acknowledge this is my error and they wont care about my phone signal. 

Its already been extended by 3 months, because my mamager acknowledged my autism and that no.supprt strategies were in place to supprt. and that extension ends now but I have made huge progress since before and his acknowledged its just the "HR rules" which obviously expects everyone to progress at same rate. 

How do you expect me to spend money, on a private therapist I dont have that much money. Im working sessional there.  But im on the waiting list for therapy. 

I guess im.just a failure! 

Invisible_me said:

I guess im.just a failure!

No, you are in a difficult situation and have asked for advice on how to make it better. That does not sound like failure to me but rather that you are trying to improve.

Invisible_me said:

I acknowledge this is my error and they wont care about my phone signal. 

Better still, work out a way to get a signal whether it is walking / riding / driving to somewhere that does have it or getting a signal booster for your broadband connection (if you have one).

Think of soultions always - that is the mindset that your manager will want to see.

Invisible_me said:

How do you expect me to spend money, on a private therapist I dont have that much money.

I don't know your personal financial circumstances but this is a way for you to be able to get more employable, able to earn more etc so is an investment in yourself. 

It costs about £50 per session and you can do these as and when you can afford them. It certainly isn't a cheap option but the potential it has to improve your life makes it something I highly recommend you consider.

The therapy offered by the NHS has rarely been of much use from what others have discussed on this forum since their therapists have little experience or training with autism. Private therapy allows you to pick and choose your therapist, interview them and get a much more targetted solution for what you want.

Of course these are only my opinions - you need to do your own research and reach your own conclusions,

Invisible_me said:

I guess im.just a failure!

No, you are in a difficult situation and have asked for advice on how to make it better. That does not sound like failure to me but rather that you are trying to improve.

Invisible_me said:

I acknowledge this is my error and they wont care about my phone signal. 

Better still, work out a way to get a signal whether it is walking / riding / driving to somewhere that does have it or getting a signal booster for your broadband connection (if you have one).

Think of soultions always - that is the mindset that your manager will want to see.

Invisible_me said:

How do you expect me to spend money, on a private therapist I dont have that much money.

I don't know your personal financial circumstances but this is a way for you to be able to get more employable, able to earn more etc so is an investment in yourself. 

It costs about £50 per session and you can do these as and when you can afford them. It certainly isn't a cheap option but the potential it has to improve your life makes it something I highly recommend you consider.

The therapy offered by the NHS has rarely been of much use from what others have discussed on this forum since their therapists have little experience or training with autism. Private therapy allows you to pick and choose your therapist, interview them and get a much more targetted solution for what you want.

Of course these are only my opinions - you need to do your own research and reach your own conclusions,

Don't beat yourself up.

Things happen, this is call life. The important thing is to learn from it, find some solutions,  then put it away and don't think about it ( don't ruminate or loop).

Do you have a landline? You don't need to use a mobile.

If you have a bad signal, it will be better outdoors without the walls. The front or back may be better. It is also better upstairs. Try facing different directions and you will find one direction may be better. 

Its a very difficult and upsetting situation! 

I would always let them know as soon as practical and im time. This is the 1st but I recognise its my faukt. 

Definately yes, I'll let them know solutions.

Id been so.upset and anxious on going into shift because of Saturday shift and the comments tht were made to me which didn't help. Worst thing is I never said anything and if I say anything now they'll think I'm lieing but that incident has upset me and its hard for.me to even want to go in again when that manager is on shift. .

She said 3 xyour that thin you could break", the manager on shift commented to others we've had to switch the music off "because of her (shortened name)- shes been spoken to before on not shortening my name. I asked to go on break for a breather 3 times and she refused/ignored. Again she been told if I ask for a breather then to allow it (there was no reason for her to refuse). I'd asked her 2 times id there anything you'd like me to help with she said "no", even though there were actions to do- sometimes i just need bit of directing again this has been passed on. The comments made.me very upset and this was playing on my head hence why I didn't want to go.  

I know the NHS things aren't the best...

Ill see how the occupational health goes today...