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Black and white, or shades of grey thinking

TheCatWoman

I see many people here talk of black and white thinking and that it's a very ND thing. I rarely think in black and white and nearly always in shades of grey, for me everyhthing is about context and nuance. Often I find black and white thinking like being slapped in the face by a wet fish, it's such a shock, it's also not something I particularly associate with ND but with with mostly male NT's.

It's something I find quite alienating, something that marks me out as different to both other ND's and NT's. It's not that I can't be analytical or decisive, although to some it may seem so, usually when I disagree with them and it's a case of refusing to take their stance, or be bounced into something I'm unsure of. Although I do tend to let things happen organically, the right thing comes at the right time without interfearance from me.

Are you all black and white, or are you grey?

What's your experience of being asked to think in the opposite way?

Parents

  • Definitely black and white.

    My mind likes to land on something definite without doubt.

    I know now through therapy that grey areas have to exist and I have to sit in that space with uncertainty without forcing a definite answer.

    It feels hellish though.

  • in reply to Lonehare12

    You can't plan for something and know what to do ahead of time. without being sure. It is the uncertainty that is uncomfortable.

    It is tied to masking, people pleasing and trying to look confident I think.

    This is why it feels bad as it leaves you exposed with your confusion on display.

  • in reply to Stuart333

    That really makes sense. I think I do the same.

    I try to plan ahead so I don’t feel unsure or exposed. It does feel uncomfortable when I can’t do that.

    Reading that last paragraph brings it home to me, being in that space makes me shudder.

  • in reply to Lonehare12

    I recognise that a lot. I often have to tell myself that it's ok to not know something but there are occasions in work where, if I am asked a question I don't know the answer to, it completely throws me and basically leaves me feeling like a massive fraud.

    I'm not sure if this is something already acknowledged, but imposter syndrome must be big with ASD1 people (and maybe other ND types as well) - heavily related to masking.

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  • in reply to Lonehare12

    I recognise that a lot. I often have to tell myself that it's ok to not know something but there are occasions in work where, if I am asked a question I don't know the answer to, it completely throws me and basically leaves me feeling like a massive fraud.

    I'm not sure if this is something already acknowledged, but imposter syndrome must be big with ASD1 people (and maybe other ND types as well) - heavily related to masking.

Children
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