Anybody else or just me?

As some of you may have noticed I'm quite a wordy person, to me different words add different layers and textures to what I say, ot me words also have images attached to them or sometimes sounds or smells or tastes, Ai dosen't have this sort of layering so it seems one dimensional to me. It's probably also why I don't "get" a lot of poetry.

I think we all think differently to some and have unusual commincation styles, I think thats what makes the NT world so difficult and communicating with each other too. ND people are usually a bit more patient and ask for clarification instead of instantly telling you your weird and to shut up.

I think the other thing about being ND is we ask questions, so many questions and we rarely get answers to them.

• Often it has not felt like a career path as much as treading water. 

I like AI, chatGPT and Gemini, on my phone for text only communication.

It works the same way I do; a focus on semantics and systematizing language.

I used today to analyse my last poem. It was very useful.

I appreciate i think differently to some and my communication style is unusual, hence it may not be suitable for others.

It's funny you mention about the nature of workplaces because I have a terrible track record of employment lol terrible lol so I totally relate to you raising that point as I've had some right disasters .

For a good time, just like dory would sing just keep swimming, I was singing " just keep quiet, just keep quiet " internally lol

Lol I'm a fan !! 

I'm a fan of swearing creatively lol

Can't do it enough but I do find they are great for punctuating and high lighting

I'm seeing and learning that I'm not alone in such regards, this thread has shown me it's nice to be talking to other autistic people because it looks like y'all understand me lol

I've not long finished a stint in therapy and the first thing I asked was for them to properly assess me, I'd done an online thing ages ago but never took much of it because i found it on Facebook and did it for shits and giggles but little bits started to make themselves known / become apparent to me so I got assessed , got a 9 out of 10 and then got booked in for my full proper diagnosis assessment and boom, here I am one autism diagnosis later lol

Like I could talk and explain to the therapist but in here you guys seem to understand and for me that's progress lol

I ask questions that few can answer, I sometimes ask them on here and I either get loads of responses or very few, once or twice an ominous silence!

I don't use AI, human numbskulls created it and on the rare occaision I have looked at the answers it's provided, it seems that it was taught at the same school of the bleeding obvious that the numbskulls who programed it went too. That said if used my vocabulary to its full and vulgar extent to reply to AI, it might learn something! Probably how to swear creatively, lol.

I do get all that but this is where I fail.. consistently..  lol

Well have failed, starting to learn lol

The urge has mostly been to strong for my mask to hold back, and then from what I've read and slightly understand, I'm then in meltdown mode..

It makes more sense to me now ( in the course of starting this thread ) than it ever has lol but I've also learned that I need to be doing what I'm doing here, actually asking other autistic people lol 

I get the logic though, and try as I might I'm the powder keg type lol So a lot of energy is going into my mask , even before I leave the house my brain is like 20 min ahead of me lol 

But where I've kept quiet about things , they all seemed to mount up.. I mean there was a time when the mask did keep those things in check and even tho we are possibly a lesser version of our selves while behind a mask, for other reasons I was even less of myself , so it never felt like me, "me" was more busy being an exhausted wreck staring back from the other side of the mask lol 

I can quote it up ( special interest is a random movie from my collection in the background ) you must be familiar with the movie sucker punch? 

The line - " you gotta stand for something or you will fall for everything " 

And while I'm an imperfect silly little creature lol I did make the decision to stand for what I felt was right or good , fair yada yada the list goes on lol where it counted , not striving for perfection just at least I should try to when it really fkin matters lol

( Winces at the inflexible thinking sound of all that lol ) 

But aye here I am   a the very least I have learned that I at least need to be factoring in these elements of my autism to protect myself, I've spent a lot of time in survival mode but at least I'm starting to learn 

RoofTopRambler said:

My experience literally has been telling the truth how I see it,

It really helps to understand that truth is subjective.

Even facts can be subject to change with time (think of how much medical science changes with time).

When you come to realise just how inconstant our perception of reality is then it helps form a more philosphical approach to having a "truth" of anything.

Most of the time it is better for us not to share these "truths" we see but to accept that everone will have their own and there is not real point in arguing over it.

Yes and thank god lol

As long as I'm not alone in the kind of bleeding edge style of logic that it almost doesn't make sense whilst also making sense lol

I hear you regarding the ai, and whilst I didn't think of the AI forming answers to something of a "what they want to hear" fashion I've tried to apply Bruce lees philosophy, take what is useful, reject what is useless and add what is specifically my own, in the sense that if I'm reading about something if it resonates with me in " I've experienced that for myself " kind of way, other wise I don't consider it gospal just information.

I'm the type that works of energy and vibe so if something rings true for me I " feel it " so I don't believe every little thing I read , there is a lot of stuff on Facebook that I felt was quite .... Absolute  like "this" is the only way autistics experience something and a lot of that didn't resonate with me, seemed to absolute or inflexible .

I was starting to look into the vulnerability of autistic over sharing 

And well in plain English, I have screwed myself over a hell of a lot by not understanding what I was doing or what I was and I guess I'm expressing the regret I have that had I known and understood I would have played things very differently.

My experience literally has been telling the truth how I see it, get misrepresented and come out the bad guy or ( seems to be my personal favourite ) cause myself major consequences.

Like why is the desire to tell the truth and be understood so... Damaging ? Lol for the life of me I'm 45 and I still can't figure that one out as EVERY SINGLE TIME I have tried to stand like this I get f'ed , only speaking for myself and the experiences I've had in life..

I think what upsets me is the thought of having to take a more protective and less trusting position , to withhold rather than be open, like the reversal of certain character traits as a preventive measure of being taken advantage of.

It's like there's always something lost in the translation, I know what I'm saying but it seems to be having no impact or is met with no regard and then, I'm out lol I don't know what to do with that lol

I guess the pity party is about having put my foot in my mouth ( again lol ) I was all open and cooperative and honest thinking I would be heard and understood but again its tanked lol hence why Iveeen looking at autistic vulnerabilities to do with over sharing

Yes it does make sense to me.

Yes I get what you mean.  

Confusing isn't it!  :-)

Iain said:

I would advise caution when using AI in this manner

Yes some of these questions should be kept open and based on self discovery and personal experience

I totally understand where you are coming from, the workplace and society seems to be exploitative to the extent to which it negates autistic people. Really its a parable of the tortoise and the hair, Its amusing watching people take the elevator straight to the top floor. I don't believe neuro diverse people are as self-serving generally and can go out of their way to trust, help, listen or stop for others which can make us a target. Whilst I have always had an inbuilt suspicion of those who befriend. Noone is perfect, typical neurotypes seem to view themselves more so. I don't think its in anyway shameful to ask for extra help if you have a non obvious form of ASD. Your'e right too in that your entire life leading up to your diagnosis can look like a mess with the new understanding, the new understanding can make you see and do things differently which also awakens other more fully to who you really are.

RoofTopRambler said:

i have been using ai to pose questions too as a means of infomation gathering

I would advise caution when using AI in this manner as it is quote prone to confirmational bias, ie if it thinks you are looking for a particular answer then it will give you that answer, sometimes without any facts to back it up (ie it fabricates it).

The trick here is to ask it to cite its sources so you can review them and make sure 1) they say what the AI tell you and 2) that they look like a reputable source.

I can recommend a simple to follow book to start, something like:

Autism For Dummies (2025) - ISBN 9781394301003 (paberback); ISBN 9781394301027 (ebook)

Then I would consider the areas I wanted  to read more about and dig deeper - ask here for other recommendations as there are a load of books out there on different aspects of autism.

There is a lot of personal experience shared on these discussion threads which you can search using the box at the top of the screen but if you have a specific question then it is most effective just to ask and you should get a range of replies within a day or two.

Knowledge = power so make yourself powerful.

HiRoofTopRambler 

I'm starting to realize that too!!

Things are slowly falling into place.

For me it included relationships and being more vulnerable to manipulation.

It’s not about blaming autism, just understanding why things have been harder.

Hello.

Everyone's journey is different, experiences you've had, problems you've faced, strengths and weaknesses, mistakes, thought patterns, sensitivities, etc.

Physical things just have to be minimised, accommodated or adapted to. The mind cannot change the fact the lights are too bright, or it's too noisy. But lowering the load on your nervous system reduces stress.

From a mental perspective, it is not so much the way you think that's the problem, it's the downstream consequences.

Masking due to lack of confidence in yourself causes significant strain. Relationship issues can be hard emotionally. Baggage gained and carried accumulates.

The goal is avoid burnout, try to remain calm and balanced, so you can do what you want to do. When calm you can also use the positive aspects, language, art, writing, system thinking, problem solving, animals, whatever it is you have.

There is magic wand. The aim is to use your energy more wisely. Things will be still be stressful, but you can learn how to manage. If you are fully charged you can cope, if you're not you can't and executive function problems come along.

The point is to find joy and contentment, instead of stress, doubt and confusion. This is no different from everyone else, but yet it is a unique challenge with no single answer.

This is why it takes months or years and people feel lost.

If literal understanding, trust, honour, masking and no boundaries have caused problems, it takes time to come to terms with the past. If trauma is present, singly or in complex form, additional help may be needed.

It is a bumpy road, and I've fallen into ravines, but it can be better. :)

Observation of yourself and ruthless honesty are the keys to progress, but where change is needed you have to act. It takes courage, but your life is what you make it. But that does not mean you have to do it alone, you can ask for help, just be mindful of who you ask.

When lived well you'll feel an imposter, when lived badly you'll struggle.