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Has your autisticness changed over the years?

Stuart333

Not sure autisticness is a real word, but you get the idea.

If I think back to how I was In my 20s, then 30s, then 50s, and now post diagnosis, plus how I am in and out of burnout, I can see some changes.

In my 20s I was far more set on what food I would eat, I had stricter routines, changes made me uncomfortable, I couldn't approach strangers at all, I was quite timid, I couldn't really do social events, if I had to they were a lot more stressful than enjoyable, something to be endured.

As long as not burnt out, I became less timid, more outwardly assured, albeit at the expense of chronic stress, and did more. I stopped most scripting and rarely replay conversations now. I became much better at using forums, and even calling people on the phone (I couldn't use it as a teenager). Social events are hard but not as bad, I still feel awkward, I think that will never go.

I think as you get older there is less new stuff so your sphere widens.

Is this other people's experience?

Parents

  • As someone who was late to the official show, I have noticed that over the last year I have become much more aware of how much I've been struggling.

    I read somewhere that as you age, your working memory doesn't work quite as well as it did, so the constant monitoring and adjusting in real time, sort of goes out of the window. For me it's been my emotional side that has become increasingly difficult to regulate. 

    I'm really struggling at the moment and I find myself in the verge of tears most of the time. I was assessed with ADHD a month ago and it just seems like a journey of discovery that just keeps adding more weight without relief. 

    I've had a bad year, I've had both diagnosis, I've lost people, been in a serious car accident (thankfully nobody had any lasting injuries) and started therapy which has unearthed a mountain of deeply buried stuff. I also managed to get into a third phase medical trial to deal with my TRD, this fell through at the last minute after weeks of testing and interrogation (for want of a better term).  If the straw that broke the camels back is out there, I hope it finds somewhere else to land.

    I'm not looking for pity or advice but what I wouldn't give for a break in clouds is immeasurable.

    I'm not going anywhere as I need to be here.

    Anyway I hope you all have a better day x

Reply

  • As someone who was late to the official show, I have noticed that over the last year I have become much more aware of how much I've been struggling.

    I read somewhere that as you age, your working memory doesn't work quite as well as it did, so the constant monitoring and adjusting in real time, sort of goes out of the window. For me it's been my emotional side that has become increasingly difficult to regulate. 

    I'm really struggling at the moment and I find myself in the verge of tears most of the time. I was assessed with ADHD a month ago and it just seems like a journey of discovery that just keeps adding more weight without relief. 

    I've had a bad year, I've had both diagnosis, I've lost people, been in a serious car accident (thankfully nobody had any lasting injuries) and started therapy which has unearthed a mountain of deeply buried stuff. I also managed to get into a third phase medical trial to deal with my TRD, this fell through at the last minute after weeks of testing and interrogation (for want of a better term).  If the straw that broke the camels back is out there, I hope it finds somewhere else to land.

    I'm not looking for pity or advice but what I wouldn't give for a break in clouds is immeasurable.

    I'm not going anywhere as I need to be here.

    Anyway I hope you all have a better day x

Children
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