Has your autisticness changed over the years?

Not sure autisticness is a real word, but you get the idea.

If I think back to how I was In my 20s, then 30s, then 50s, and now post diagnosis, plus how I am in and out of burnout, I can see some changes.

In my 20s I was far more set on what food I would eat, I had stricter routines, changes made me uncomfortable, I couldn't approach strangers at all, I was quite timid, I couldn't really do social events, if I had to they were a lot more stressful than enjoyable, something to be endured.

As long as not burnt out, I became less timid, more outwardly assured, albeit at the expense of chronic stress, and did more. I stopped most scripting and rarely replay conversations now. I became much better at using forums, and even calling people on the phone (I couldn't use it as a teenager). Social events are hard but not as bad, I still feel awkward, I think that will never go.

I think as you get older there is less new stuff so your sphere widens.

Is this other people's experience?

Parents
  • I don't know if it's just because I'm older or if it's because I'm used to being autistic, but generally I'm much calmer, I think a lot of this is because I've made choices about how as well as where I live, cutting out stressors as much as I can. I still find other people stressful and I still replay conversations, I often feel that others have got in my head a bit and I have to mentally evict them, it dosen't matter whether they're people I like or not.

    I rarely socialise or see others now, when I do I find I become tired very quickly. I find animals much better company than humans, luckily animals seem to like me too. I find being here helps as I can have human contact without the aggravation that so often goes along with it. I'm so glad I don't have to be out in the world with a wardrobe full of masks for every occaision and the characters that go with them. I'm also so glad not to have to mess about with dating and the whole sex thing, I'm just glad I'm older and don't have the pressures that come with being younger anymore. 

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  • I don't know if it's just because I'm older or if it's because I'm used to being autistic, but generally I'm much calmer, I think a lot of this is because I've made choices about how as well as where I live, cutting out stressors as much as I can. I still find other people stressful and I still replay conversations, I often feel that others have got in my head a bit and I have to mentally evict them, it dosen't matter whether they're people I like or not.

    I rarely socialise or see others now, when I do I find I become tired very quickly. I find animals much better company than humans, luckily animals seem to like me too. I find being here helps as I can have human contact without the aggravation that so often goes along with it. I'm so glad I don't have to be out in the world with a wardrobe full of masks for every occaision and the characters that go with them. I'm also so glad not to have to mess about with dating and the whole sex thing, I'm just glad I'm older and don't have the pressures that come with being younger anymore. 

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