imposter syndrome whilst waiting for a diagnosis

This is what I dealt with too. The feeling if being imposter was strong to thepoint of madness. I decided some time ago  to stop reading and watching about autism and went back to my aliens and space. This way I don't feel imposter,  I'm just me again, although being a social outcast, I feel much better in my vast inner world. Today I told my mom one story I wrote 2,5 years ago about aliens and time travel and she told me, that Netflix could pay me for my stories. That was nice. So maybe you can also try to go back to your previous intrest and if autism became your kind of Obsession (it was in my case), then it would automatically fade after some time. Overthinking and analysing every possible moment, trait and situation will nit help unfortunately.  I myself am not diagnosed,  suspected autism and lexical gustatory synaesthesia, so I don't know how I will feel if I'm on my way, which is going to probably happen, because my husband and my daughter's teacher and her psychologist are trying to convince me to get myself tested for autism. My teachers in my childhood had these suspicion years ago (becausei was mute, they thought i dont speak at all and tgere were also meltdowns whenever they tried to force me to play with other kids) but my mom dismissed and was very angry that someone dares to say that her daughter is defective. Then I got multiple times misdiagnosed and mistreated and ended up as 37 y/o woman with suspected autism. 

The research obsession is so strong, it's taken over so much of my free time, I'm even listening to podcasts while I work. 

I'm getting my report soon, but trying to let my other interests have a bit of room again, as I feel they are me and I think they will help me process it all by reminding me of what else I enjoy!

Yes, research obsession made almost insane. I felt like total idiot. I wanted to throw this topic out of my head, but couldn't. I even called my therapist and cried on the phone that I can't cope with it anymore. He gave me a homework to research about autism. He couldn't give me any date sooner than our planned appointment. I wasn't sure if I would go to hospital.  But what would I tell them? That my therapist told me that he suspects autism and gave me the homework to research about it? And now I can't stop... it sounds to me like a madness. At that time two activities helped me distance myself from the topic. I made a project like those in my childhood- tram line scheme with timetables (unfinished because my daughter interrupted me and ive never got a chance to finish the timetables) and also writing numbers in notebooks. I filled 3 notebooks with following 10 digits numbers. I always loved creating and collecting data that made actually no sense and served no purpose. As I analysed the ICD11 diagnostic criteria,  I feel that they are the explanation, why I feel inferior to others. I saw some posts where people say, that they don't understand these criteria.  I do understand them. Now im back on track with my favourite activity and started reading a book from Neil Tyson DeGrasse.

Yes, research obsession made almost insane. I felt like total idiot. I wanted to throw this topic out of my head, but couldn't. I even called my therapist and cried on the phone that I can't cope with it anymore. He gave me a homework to research about autism. He couldn't give me any date sooner than our planned appointment. I wasn't sure if I would go to hospital.  But what would I tell them? That my therapist told me that he suspects autism and gave me the homework to research about it? And now I can't stop... it sounds to me like a madness. At that time two activities helped me distance myself from the topic. I made a project like those in my childhood- tram line scheme with timetables (unfinished because my daughter interrupted me and ive never got a chance to finish the timetables) and also writing numbers in notebooks. I filled 3 notebooks with following 10 digits numbers. I always loved creating and collecting data that made actually no sense and served no purpose. As I analysed the ICD11 diagnostic criteria,  I feel that they are the explanation, why I feel inferior to others. I saw some posts where people say, that they don't understand these criteria.  I do understand them. Now im back on track with my favourite activity and started reading a book from Neil Tyson DeGrasse.