Been in burnout for a year

This resonates with me so strongly- I have been in a cycle of chronic burnout for 5 years - I ended up so physically ill from it which is what forced me to stop at times but I didn’t understand what was happening and resting didn’t seem to help much and I started to question whether I can ever recover. And like you mention that raises all kinds of questions- can I ever recover? Did resting not help as it is bad for me or as it wasn’t long enough or because I wasn’t really resting or I was not resting in the right way? The past year though I have had moments where I have felt better than in years and it has made me question a lot of things that I didn’t before because I was just trying to survive and hanging on to things like my career choices, approach to things etc. It hasn’t really solved the issue though and now I am heading into utter burnout again though it’s almost worse as I can see more of the things that are contributing to it and I desperately want to stop them but can’t so it’s almost harder to bear … but all of this makes me feel that your point about ‘not resting in the right way’ is an interesting one and I think that could be part of it- I believe that for me happiness and less burnout will only come by fundamentally changing my approach to life and a lot of things that I thought had to be like that. Also thinking back, even when resting I would still push myself to do certain things. What is super hard for me is that when I am in burnout mode then paradoxically resting is almost unbearable because that is when I really crash and physically suffer and can’t do anything- not even fun things because everything is so hard. It is so hard to go through that stage and I then have the tendency to just try to work more so my energy at least goes into something ‘useful’ - like a hamster running on a wheel … so it is very easy to get caught up. Also some of advice given can be unhelpful- people often assumed that I was depressed when I was burntout as there are similarities and in that case medical professionals often push you to try to do things anyways and to socialise etc. I now realise the reason I didn’t feel joy in doing things and seemed to have lost interest was simply because I was so utterly exhausted that anything even fun things took inhuman effort- I am confident now that this is the case as when I finally rested more in a proper way and had good moments I all of a sudden found that I enjoyed a lot of things and found new interests - but I just couldn’t have before. I am so sorry that you are experiencing burnout- it is such a horrible place to be trapped in. I don’t know if talking about my own experience is helpful to you but I just wanted you to know that you are not alone and that I believe there is a way out but that it probably involves figuring out a different way of being and questioning a lot of assumptions and all of this takes time- I certainly haven’t figured it all out yet. 

Hik001 and welcome.

Sorry to hear that you are having a difficult time of things.

I can see you have had some good advice already here.

I find that doing a few things I appreciate daily, and doing them mindfully helps. It sort of forces you into the present moment. Its a way to take care of yourself.

I think animals can be a source of joy and companionship, I have a cat and his quiet non judgemental presence helps me tremendously. So it's good to know you have a dog.!!

There is no right or wrong way, there's only your way of doing things.

Remember you are allowed to just "be"

I hope things start to improve for you.

Your biggest issue is that you probably feel guilty making time for yourself. Even when you try to relax you feel you should be doing something. You put stuff off because you can't face it then feel guilty about relaxing. You then cant sleep worrying about it all.

A lot of this is on your head. You have to change your perspective.

Not sleeping can be down to lots of things. Too much screen time, stop at least one hour before bed, eating too late, lights too bright, use lamps in the evening, etc. I had screwed up my circadian rhythms. I always thought it was good, but now I see that is not the case.

Do you have trouble getting to sleep or staying asleep, do you dream? Do you nap in the day.

Sort out your sleep and the rest will follow.

If you have a lot of buried stuff or trauma, this will take being calm to process. You need to feel safe for your mind to work through it. It has taken me 10 months, but I am getting there. I am much calmer now. I am a bit fragile if stressed, but the emotional flooding is getting less intense. 

Work on stress. Same info I posted on another thread.

If you are not already, pay attention to your body.

If your shoulders start to raise (try hunching and lowering them to check), if you are breathing from your chest rather than your diaphragm (your chest goes up and down and your stomach doesn't move), you feel a knot or something under your sternum, you are getting stressed.

Also, your heart beat can get stronger, not just faster, when stressed, I can feel my pulse in my throat.

If these things happen, you need to calm yourself. Lower shoulders, say down it works, breathe deeper use your diaphragm, close your eyes for a few seconds, tell yourself you're safe, place a hand on your chest, these will all calm you. Do this for a minute or so each time.

Get the stress under control, work on sleeping, light exercise, and proper food and hydration, cut out caffeine and alcohol, and you will start the get more regulated.

Note that alcohol causes more problematic thinking the next afternoon. Caffeine is really not helpful even if it feels like it is.

Try to change your mindset and don't put yourself under pressure. Leave things if you can, I have not done much in the garden this year and it is my number one hobby. Don't feel guilty for being lazy or doing something you enjoy.

Write stuff down each day, and treat yourself as an experiment and look for patterns. Which foods cause trouble, what happens when you don't sleep well, etc. you can then make progress.

Hi and welcome to the community. I am sorry to hear how you are feeling, and I understand your difficulties with family and friends who don't really understand what you are going through. There is an article on this website about autistic burnout, which might be helpful:

https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/mental-health/autistic-fatigue/autistic-adults

Please try not to listen to that nagging voice in your head that tells you what you "should" be doing. It's your life and you need to work out what will make you happy and try to work towards that.

Do you schedule your days? If not, perhaps you could try that. Schedule what times you will be working, when you will take a shower, walk the dog, eat meals, do housework, etc, and then schedule in time for yourself to do whatever interests you.

I hope things improve for you soon.