Dating advice

Do you have any interests or hobbies? I would say that the best way to meet someone would be through your interests. Say you were interested in wildlife, maybe join a birdwatching group; enjoy reading, try a book club; like board games, try a board game group or a local board game cafe. There are also online groups for special interests too, I'm not sure how to find them but I'm sure they're out there.

If you think you lack social skills, you may find that you're not as bad as it as you think! I wouldn't try to be someone you're not, just be yourself, otherwise you'll meet someone who likes the 'masked' version of you rather than the real you. By all means think about some basics like, if someone asks you what you did at the weekend, it's polite to ask them how their weekend was too but don't stress about it too much. Don't overthink it, if you meet the right person, they really won't mind a bit of social awkwardness! 

Finally, I would set out to meet people rather than trying to meet that special person. Often we find a partner when we are least expecting to.

Hi Ollie is there any autism support near you with me I live in Swansea and in the next town over neath there an autism hub. We have a weekly session every Saturday 12-4 it’s a short train ride for me and I love it there it gets me out my dog comes with me which is a huge help and it’s a great place to make friends. Is there anything like that near you because I would really suggest you going to a place like that and if you have a dog that you feel comfortable with ask if you can bring it. Honestly an autism hub is a great place to meet people and to maybe even form a relationship with someone special that might go there, 

Try joining local clubs that interest you, or doing some charity work. If you only meet older people there, get chatting with them about their lives and families then drop into the conversation that you're looking to meet someone - they might know someone a similar age to you who is also looking for a partner.

Remember when socialising to ask people questions, and try not to talk for too long about something that interests you. Ask for and offer assistance with things, this helps build a connection.

I wish you luck.

Ollie said:

Any advise please on what works for someone that lacks social skills? 

I would probably say that if you want to engage in social intercourse and meet people socially then learning social skills would be the most logical choice.

It is a big task and one that takes a long time to learn but you should be able to learn the "rules" and be able to identify the main cues in a few dozen hours of effort the be able to develop further by slowly engaging socially as your capacity allows.

There is quite a passable guide to some techniques to do this here:

https://sachscenter.com/autism-social-skills-activities/

If you lack any meaningful social skills then you are likely to be very difficult for a neurotypical person to tolerate for long as we will often make them feel uncomfortable and really struggle with the basics like conversation and expectations of responses. 

You can restrict yourself to neurodivergents like yourself but we can also be very hard to get along with due to our learned behaviours, defence mechanisms and limited capacity for dealing with difficult things.

So in essence if you want to fit in enough to fit in to the NT culture then learning how is the most logical way.

The NT pool offers almost 50 times more people to choose from so it is the logical choice .

The one other big advantage of learning how to socialise is that it is a skill set that translates to so many other aspects of life, such as family, work, dealing with people professionally and even making friends. 

This may not work for everyone as it depends on your capacity but if you look at the bigger picture of the benefits then it can be worth the effort.