Obsession

I don't have any advice as such, but as an autist I am well aware that it isn't uncommon to develop unhealthy obsessions with people we like and/or feel attracted to. It can be hard for us to understand and/or accept healthy boundaries.

It's horrible for the person on the receiving end of overwhelming unwanted attention, and it can be equally as traumatic for the autist who desperately wants some form of connection with that person, and doesn't understand or refuses to accept that they need back off and give that person some breathing space.

One thing that may be contributing to the situation your son has found himself is the instant-messaging world we live in. I think there can sometimes be an expectation that one will receive an instant reply. I include myself when I say that autists can sometimes forget that other people have their own lives, which don't always revolve around us. If we don't hear back from someone within we consider to be a reasonable amount of time, we can be prone to making what can often be incorrect assumptions.

When your son goes off because he hasn't heard from the girl, is it because he feels angry with her? Is it because he thinks something bad has happened to her and he feels compelled to check that she is ok? Is it because he's experiencing a whole host of emotions, thoughts, and feelings and he feels the need to be somewhere where he can be truly alone to try to make sense of them?

Although I don't think that my dad was autistic, I know that if he and my mother had fallen out and had an argument, he would take himself off for a walk to calm down. Sometimes he would be gone for hours. I used to do the same thing when I felt angry, and my son does it too. An overwhelming feeling of, "I don't know where I'm going, but I need to be somewhere, anywhere that isn't here!"

If you can afford the cost, and your son would be open to the day, have you considered going down the private therapy route?

I don't have any advice as such, but as an autist I am well aware that it isn't uncommon to develop unhealthy obsessions with people we like and/or feel attracted to. It can be hard for us to understand and/or accept healthy boundaries.

It's horrible for the person on the receiving end of overwhelming unwanted attention, and it can be equally as traumatic for the autist who desperately wants some form of connection with that person, and doesn't understand or refuses to accept that they need back off and give that person some breathing space.

One thing that may be contributing to the situation your son has found himself is the instant-messaging world we live in. I think there can sometimes be an expectation that one will receive an instant reply. I include myself when I say that autists can sometimes forget that other people have their own lives, which don't always revolve around us. If we don't hear back from someone within we consider to be a reasonable amount of time, we can be prone to making what can often be incorrect assumptions.

When your son goes off because he hasn't heard from the girl, is it because he feels angry with her? Is it because he thinks something bad has happened to her and he feels compelled to check that she is ok? Is it because he's experiencing a whole host of emotions, thoughts, and feelings and he feels the need to be somewhere where he can be truly alone to try to make sense of them?

Although I don't think that my dad was autistic, I know that if he and my mother had fallen out and had an argument, he would take himself off for a walk to calm down. Sometimes he would be gone for hours. I used to do the same thing when I felt angry, and my son does it too. An overwhelming feeling of, "I don't know where I'm going, but I need to be somewhere, anywhere that isn't here!"

If you can afford the cost, and your son would be open to the day, have you considered going down the private therapy route?

Thank you for your reply. What would be the best way to approach the conversation with my son. I don't think he realises he has a problem. 

I would like to try the therapy route. He tried therapy before with a female. But after many sessions, she suggested he would benefit more from a male