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Empathy from neurotypical people

pthwaites7

Hi all, 

I'm new here - I was diagnosed with both Autism and ADHD just a few days ago. 

I've told my family about my diagnosis, and they have been very empathic, but not in a way that feels truly understanding! I tried to explain about masking and the lifelong sense that I've been pretending to be "normal", and how the result of that for me has been a sense that I don't know who I am beneath the masking. They responded by saying things like, "I gave up trying to be normal years ago". 

I can understand that response - I don't like the idea of "normal" either. But I'm this case, it just feels like a platitude that allows people avoid trying to understand how hard it is to be an autistic person in a neurotypical world. I don't know that anybody really believes in "normal", but at the same time autistic people struggle in ways that most neurotypical people never will. I don't know how to help my family to understand that. 

Does anyone have any experience of this? 

Peter 

Parents

  • I have had some empathy from my family but in the case of my (80 year old) mother, she has been completely dismissive.  This is hard as her refusal to accept this is part of me, somehow has built a barrier between us.  Previously I was always giving in to whatever she wanted.  Now I am trying to stand up for myself a little bit more, drop the mask.  Generally I have found friends are accepting of my diagnosis but don't want to see me being any different than the person they have always believed me to be.  Im sorry I don't have any positive suggestions to help but I thank you for your post.  I'm not sure I can help my family to understand if they dont want to.

Reply

  • I have had some empathy from my family but in the case of my (80 year old) mother, she has been completely dismissive.  This is hard as her refusal to accept this is part of me, somehow has built a barrier between us.  Previously I was always giving in to whatever she wanted.  Now I am trying to stand up for myself a little bit more, drop the mask.  Generally I have found friends are accepting of my diagnosis but don't want to see me being any different than the person they have always believed me to be.  Im sorry I don't have any positive suggestions to help but I thank you for your post.  I'm not sure I can help my family to understand if they dont want to.

Children
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