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Empathy from neurotypical people

pthwaites7

Hi all, 

I'm new here - I was diagnosed with both Autism and ADHD just a few days ago. 

I've told my family about my diagnosis, and they have been very empathic, but not in a way that feels truly understanding! I tried to explain about masking and the lifelong sense that I've been pretending to be "normal", and how the result of that for me has been a sense that I don't know who I am beneath the masking. They responded by saying things like, "I gave up trying to be normal years ago". 

I can understand that response - I don't like the idea of "normal" either. But I'm this case, it just feels like a platitude that allows people avoid trying to understand how hard it is to be an autistic person in a neurotypical world. I don't know that anybody really believes in "normal", but at the same time autistic people struggle in ways that most neurotypical people never will. I don't know how to help my family to understand that. 

Does anyone have any experience of this? 

Peter 

Parents

  • Hi  and welcome and congratulations on your diagnosis.

    If family members are willing to try and understand there are definitely resources out there to do so, but they can never know how it truly feels to be autistic. My therapist said it's like trying to teach a cat to bark, which kind of puts it in a nutshell. This doesn't mean they can't learn about our challenges and what helps us get through.

    Hopefully you'll get more information on here.(⁠•⁠‿⁠•⁠)

Reply

  • Hi  and welcome and congratulations on your diagnosis.

    If family members are willing to try and understand there are definitely resources out there to do so, but they can never know how it truly feels to be autistic. My therapist said it's like trying to teach a cat to bark, which kind of puts it in a nutshell. This doesn't mean they can't learn about our challenges and what helps us get through.

    Hopefully you'll get more information on here.(⁠•⁠‿⁠•⁠)

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