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Social Anxiety (?)

Bellathewhiterabbit

Hello everybody! 

I’m autistic and have CPTSD. I recently moved in with my partner’s parents, and even though they’re lovely, I really struggle to be around them. I mostly stay in my room because I only feel safe when I’m alone. Sometimes I even wait to eat or go for a wee until the house is quiet.

I call myself the house gnome, I come out when everyone’s gone to clean, cook, and dance around. But lately I’ve been more tired and anxious, and it’s getting harder to go downstairs or socialise. In the first couple of weeks it was easy to handle, I didn't feel this need of hiding but now feel myself getting more and more tired over time. 

Has anyone else felt like this when living with other people? How did you make it easier to feel safe and not so trapped in your room?

Thanks x

Parents

  • Hi and welcome to the community. I found it difficult living with my own family and moved out when I was 18, but I moved into a flat with just my partner which was brilliant. 

    Is it possible for you and your partner to rent a place together? If you are both on a low income, can you find a landlord in your area who will accept housing benefit? You could try asking your local council for advice, or the Shelter charity.

    If it's not going to be possible for the two of you to get your own place soon, I suggest you speak to your partner and work out what times you want to spend in your room just the two of you, and what times you want to try to spend a bit of time with the parents. Couples need time alone together to build a relationship and I'm sure the parents understand this.

    You mentioned in one of your posts that the parents are Polish, so the communication issues you will already have as an autistic person will be exacerbated by the language barrier. You could try spending some time learning a bit of Polish maybe?

    I hope things work out for you and that you find this forum helpful.

Reply

  • Hi and welcome to the community. I found it difficult living with my own family and moved out when I was 18, but I moved into a flat with just my partner which was brilliant. 

    Is it possible for you and your partner to rent a place together? If you are both on a low income, can you find a landlord in your area who will accept housing benefit? You could try asking your local council for advice, or the Shelter charity.

    If it's not going to be possible for the two of you to get your own place soon, I suggest you speak to your partner and work out what times you want to spend in your room just the two of you, and what times you want to try to spend a bit of time with the parents. Couples need time alone together to build a relationship and I'm sure the parents understand this.

    You mentioned in one of your posts that the parents are Polish, so the communication issues you will already have as an autistic person will be exacerbated by the language barrier. You could try spending some time learning a bit of Polish maybe?

    I hope things work out for you and that you find this forum helpful.

Children
  • in reply to Lotus

    Thank you for your response! 

    We are planning to move elsewhere, we are just waiting for the results of some interviews, but his parents also want us to stay, they want us to be here until Christmas (which I am panicking about because I don't celebrate Christmas at all) but yeah, it's gonna be fine. 

    About learning Polish, I am trying my best, it is a very hard language to learn, I can understand the context of things and simple sentences but it's not enough to have a conversation and I feel like it's gonna take a while for me to get there, it's like, I don't mind them speaking Polish, if I had to speak another language in my own home without an intention of doing so I wouldn't be happy and I don't want them to be uncomfortable because of that, it's just another reason for me to avoid a bit of contact, I hope that made sense, my mind is all blurry. 

    Basically I just have to keep holding on for a bit, thank you so much for your help <3