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Social Anxiety (?)

Bellathewhiterabbit

Hello everybody! 

I’m autistic and have CPTSD. I recently moved in with my partner’s parents, and even though they’re lovely, I really struggle to be around them. I mostly stay in my room because I only feel safe when I’m alone. Sometimes I even wait to eat or go for a wee until the house is quiet.

I call myself the house gnome, I come out when everyone’s gone to clean, cook, and dance around. But lately I’ve been more tired and anxious, and it’s getting harder to go downstairs or socialise. In the first couple of weeks it was easy to handle, I didn't feel this need of hiding but now feel myself getting more and more tired over time. 

Has anyone else felt like this when living with other people? How did you make it easier to feel safe and not so trapped in your room?

Thanks x

Parents

  • Hi  . Nice to meet you. Just wanted to say I completely relate to what you’re saying. I’ve been there myself several times as I have lived in a crazy number of places from the moment I left my parent’s home when I was 19. It seems the most logical thing to do, doesn’t it? When you’re alone you simply feel safe and you can relax, be yourself and stop worrying. Isn’t that the most important thing of all when you are an anxious person (or have a tendency to be be social anxious)? I also have CPTSD (a lot of traumatic experiences at home and school since I was very small). My advice is do what feels safe and healthy to you. Following what neurotypical people often say (be sociable, don’t isolate yourself, try harder, etc) tends to go against what is really needed. What’s needed is to love yourself understanding you are you including your particularities (easier to say than to do in my case but that’s another story). Listen to yourself and to your needs and don’t force things. That has never worked for me. See you around.

  • in reply to SubKonscious

    Hello  :) Lovely to meet you too. 

    I definitely get what you mean, I left my mum's house at 15 and started living on my own at 17, there was just no other option. I am sorry that you had to go through all that, it's truly a nightmare, I am glad you found ways of feeling better about yourself but it's a constant process I know. 

    Thank you so much for your kind words, this post has helped me loads so far and that is exactly what I need, I just need to make space to be myself. 

    Hopefully we'll speak again Sparkles

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  • in reply to SubKonscious

    Hello  :) Lovely to meet you too. 

    I definitely get what you mean, I left my mum's house at 15 and started living on my own at 17, there was just no other option. I am sorry that you had to go through all that, it's truly a nightmare, I am glad you found ways of feeling better about yourself but it's a constant process I know. 

    Thank you so much for your kind words, this post has helped me loads so far and that is exactly what I need, I just need to make space to be myself. 

    Hopefully we'll speak again Sparkles

Children
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